MEET YOUR SERVER
Reverend Sandra Hadland
Rev. Sandra Hadland is an ordained minister and has been engaged in ministry for over twenty years. She is the Special Assistant to the Pastor of the First Baptist Church of Stratford, Stratford, Connecticut. In this role, she seeks to provide pastoral care to those entrusted to her. Over the years, she has been actively engaged in various aspects of ministry throughout her community and within the Baptist Denomination, to include President of the American Baptist Churches of Connecticut (ABCCONN). Her passion though is not constrained to denomination only but is more centered on the wider context of building the kingdom of God, by any means possible.
Rev. Hadland is actively involved in preaching, teaching, facilitating workshops, and public speaking, mentoring the young and old alike. Over the years, her Christ-centered passion has been intentionally committed to evoking an insatiable hunger and thirst for Christ by generating enthusiasm that will become contagious to incite the downtrodden and despondent to vision, will and action. It is out of the experiences of ministry and life’s daily encounters, coupled with a dynamic radical passion to help others that Rev.Hadland has intentionally chosen to take her ministry beyond the four walls of the church building to wherever the Holy Spirit would lead. She is receptive and committed to building one life at a time, as is witnessed by her book of poems “Transformational Grace,” a language of the transforming power of God’s grace through poetry.
Rev. Hadland is a native of Nassau, Bahamas, the mother of three sons Sidney, Julian and Robert, and has nine grandchildren and three great-grandchildren.
WHY I WROTE THESE POEMS
The poems began many years before the publication of this book as a way of personal expressions of my own feelings of hurt, pain, frustration, disappointment, and trying to make sense of life in general. They were not meant to be shared with anyone else but rather, written as a way of release. Somewhere along the way, as I grew and matured in spiritual growth, it became apparent to me that there are so many others who can be helped from my experiences of being helped through the Grace of God. I simply want to pass it on. Hence the book “Transformational Grace.” For more information, please also read the “Preface” to the book.
I do feel energized and transformed when I read this book “Transformational Grace.” This book has helped me to remember and anchor myself in my belief and faith, It is a book of poems yes indeed, however, they are not just mere words. But is a vision and an experience in everyday or anyone’s life. There is a poem that is suitable for each and everyone, in whatever situation you may be facing no matter how difficult it maybe there is a poem that will suit your needs and situations.
Although I do enjoy and receives blessings through many of the poems, none has such an effect on me as “The Source” I can never get enough of that one I read it with tears and no tears in my eyes because I know it is and has spoken to me through the pain and disappointments in my life,!I know, I know! that “the source” was written for me it speaks to me directly. Anchoring myself in “the source” has enabled me to increase my understanding of the God I serve by building a deeper and personal relationship with him. That poem has taught me so much that it is difficult to put into words, these poems are written and can be used by anyone to increase their Spiritual growth and development on life’s journey.
I am here to encourage any and every one no matter what difficulty you are going through Transformational Grace will make you stop and think about your relationship with God and where he fits in your life.
Thank you Sandra Hadland for sharing your experiences and visions as I continue to grow in my faith and a deeper and meaningful relationship in “The Source.”
For the 2022 session, I returned for a second helping. As I grow closer to Christ, prayerfully you see Him in me as I learn God’s will for my life and as He works through me.
This year’s theme is Walk This Way by Faith. That’s exactly what I wanted from this session: greater faith.
With each poem, Rev. Hadland gave us the scripture reference and an overview. I was able to gauge my faith during the break-out room sessions, where we discussed answers to questions posed to us for reflection and discussion.
Every session is powerful, eye-opening and most importantly, heart-opening. What an opportunity to draw closer to the Lord for greater intimacy with Him.
Praise be to God for His faithfulness and work through Rev Hadland and as He works His plans through us.
The Mentor’s Table has been one of the most positive and enlightening experiences of my life. It has taught me the value of being intentional and deliberate in my walk with Christ, and that I will need to make sacrifices along the way. As I do these things, I am experiencing a closer, more meaningful walk with Him. And yes, I realize I still have a long way to go, but I have begun the journey.
Hearing the lectures each week, the Scripture at the end of the poems and the discussions that take place in the breakout room, I have learned that I must be purposeful to seek the Lord and His will for my life, as well as to put it into action. Week after week as I listened and reflected, I kept coming back to “being intentional” in all areas of my life. Truly, this kept me coming back for more, even when my body wanted to rest, and I did not feel like doing anything. What I kept hearing repeatedly was “whatever I do for Christ it has to be intentional”. I realized, first I must purpose in my heart that I am ready and willing to do the Savior’s will. To put it simply, whatever I do has to be done with purpose, and has to be done deliberate and intentional.
I believe one of the reasons I found this so profound is the fact that I have not lived a life of intentionality or made deliberate sacrifices for Christ and His will for my life. In some areas I thought were important such as buying my first car, I was very deliberate and made many sacrifices to accomplish the tasks. Why? Because the sacrifice was only for a short period of time. However, my walk with Christ was not the same, I did not take the same attitude and commitment, nor sacrifices required for a deeper relationship with the Savior. I have truly come to understand that a relationship with Christ, is a lifelong journey and therefore requires a lifelong commitment. It is a daily choice that needs to be made and I found that I was not as intentional as I should have been. I made many excuses for my lack of commitment; however, Reverend Hadland by way of the Mentor’s Table and with the guidance of the Holy Spirit has changed my life with the firm and unshakable truth of Christ. I have come to swallow “The Bitter Pill”, faced “The Naked Truth” about myself, and to reexamine my life, my attitudes, my behaviors, my words and the decisions I make. I have come to see my shortcomings and now have the tools necessary to enhance my relationship with Christ.
In July 2021, I accepted an invitation to join the Mentor’s Table which was about to conclude after thirty weeks. To my surprise, with only three sessions left to go Reverend Hadland, The Server, agreed to allow me to join the remaining sessions. This began a journey for me that would change my life. The sessions were intense. I had to participate in the Breakout Room by sharing how the lecture, poem or Scripture impacted me. I had never experienced anything like this before in my life.
A few weeks after the sessions ended, my son died, and I was hospitalized for about a month. I was reeling from the tragedies. However, what happened next was unbelievable. Reverend Hadland and the women from the Mentor’s Table prayed and encouraged me as well as checked in on my well-being. What I experienced through The Mentor’s Table in the short time, along with the teachings and the support helped me to begin to understand unconditional love. This prepared me for the coming 2022 Session of The Mentor’s Table.
As the new session started, I seriously thought about dropping out because of the fear, abuse and obstacles that I experienced in my past. Instead, I chose to stay. I am glad I did even though the sessions and self-introspection was challenging. Many of the Poems, Scripture Readings, Appetizers and Overviews gave me food for thought. It was as though each of them were scripted from the pages of my life of abuse.
Two poems that stood out for me this year are The Letter to God and The Beauty of the Rose. What drove the information home for me was the corresponding exercise of writing a personal letter to God and creating a rose bush tree with all the ugly thorns. Both were intense assignments for me. It caused me to reflect on my life and the obstacles that I allow to control me. With the teaching on the rose bush tree and its many thorns, I saw the connection to my own life with obstacles to overcome, and to do so with perseverance and faith.
When I began this journey, I was an introvert, silenced through abuse of all kinds and weighed down by the cares of this world. For me, after being taught in the workshops, bootcamps, lectures and breakout rooms, I learned this is a FAITH journey and it was no longer about how I FEEL. I am a work in progress, being transformed, learning to stand my ground and speak the Truth. The Scripture at the end of the poem Transformational Grace “Trust in the Lord with all thine heart and lean not on your own understanding: in all your ways, acknowledge Him and He will make your paths straight.” Proverbs 3:5-6 is a verse of Scripture that I repeat daily and is one I stand on. All this is because of the work, study and reflection offered by the Mentor’s Table.
Reverend. Hadland is prepared for each session and gives excellence in what she does including going into overtime to bring clarification to a topic as led by the Holy Spirit until we understand and to help reinforce the information given. This is greatly appreciated by me.
The Mentor’s Table has opened my heart to hear what the Lord has called me to be, so that I may reach my destiny. In addition, The Mentor’s Table has helped me to see how I react to things that I do not have control over and has given me the tools I need in order to respond differently. Something that was really important for me was the accountability of being at the table each week for the thirty weeks. I realized I needed to be intentional regardless of how I felt. Listening to the lectures, poems and Scriptures as well as sharing in the breakout room I learned how important it is to communicate well by explaining more. And, with counsel by Reverend Hadland and being at the Table, I have worked on holding my tongue in different situations and not responding or reacting out of my emotions. Holding my tongue is something that I have come to see is important because of the bigger picture.
“The Beauty of the Rose” is one poem that stood out for me. I reflected on the journey of the rose that is described in the poem, beaten by the rain and weather, and how it needs to be tended to. This is my life. I need to learn to work with others, not lashing out when things seem insurmountable, challenging or impossible, dealing with anger, having tolerance even when mistreated, and not getting defensive. What I learned from the Mentor’s Table is that when the rose blooms it has a beautiful fragrance, and so is life. I will experience situations and circumstance that are challenging; however, like the rosebush tree it is all for my growth. The thorns in my life including the hurt are all for my good.
The Rosebush Tree exercise was a gift to me. It sparked my artistic expression, something that I had pushed aside because of the actions of someone that hurt me really badly. The experience brought out of me things that I said I would never do again such as creative writing and drawing. Even my son saw what I did and encouraged me to keep doing it.
Poem number 8 “Hope” says “My wounds so deep, they crippled my soul; there must be a way to gain control” This hit home for me. It was as though it reflected my life. As I grow on the Mentor’s Table I realize that God is everything and that whatever, I go through God is refining me.
The Mentor’s Table has been placed in my life for this time and season so that I may grow and flourish. Grateful to God.
The Mentor’s Table has been a rewarding, fruitful, and fulfilling experience. The poems through reflection, meditation, and response to each poem with Scripture opened my eyes to reflect on myself and my true intentions for a better relationship with the Holy Spirit. With prayer, I was drawn closer to God through Rev. Hadland’s teachings, and the discussions in our breakout sessions. It meant so much to me that the women came to know each other through this experience and could share our life stories with one another.
I identified with each poem in a special way because it showed me that I was trying to take care of my own circumstances instead of my need to let the Holy Spirit guide me. It was amazing to find that in some cases, we all had similar circumstances and no matter what the circumstance, we all were very supportive of each other. Our meal at the Mentor’s Table with the ladies will always be special to me and the bond made with my breakout group was extra special. I identified the most with the poem, “Transformational Grace.” This was because I walked in fear and anxiety trying not to show it and this poem helped me to realize I had to learn through this process to rest in Him. These words in the poem helped me:
“His presence brings assurance-He is in control; though the battle rages deep within my soul, there is a presence that fights to be released.”
These sessions have been very effective in that it has helped me to begin to overcome my fears and anxieties and move forward to have more confidence in myself. One of my fears that I expressed was the fear of praying before a group. Maybe because of my position in the church, I had a fear of using the correct words instead of letting the Holy Spirit guide me.
My prayer life is more effective now because I am relying more on the Holy Spirit for guidance and His protection from distractions and overextending myself. I am praying for guidance to continue to improve my self-confidence, fear of failure, and learning to move out of my comfort zone. Now I find it has helped me to prioritize what is most important to the least important place and put it before the Lord that His will be done in my life.
This experience has helped me to grow in my spiritual life. When the circumstance of a problem arises, I would become anxious and try to handle the situation when I know better. Now I keep my eyes focused on God and “Look to the Source” as it is so eloquently stated in the first poem. At times I would hide behind helping others and not being able to help myself. Now I wonder how I could feel that way.
Every week, was a new experience of God’s Grace and Mercy and we were always served a delicious spiritual meal!!! The highlights of our weekly journey were being able to be satisfied and full of the Holy Spirit after we had dined sufficiently and still wanting more time together.
The footprints of the Holy Spirit led me to know that He is always with me and will never leave me, especially in times of need. Each week, our prayer was to make us aware of the changes needed in our lives and then give us the mind and strength to follow through. Thank You, Holy Spirit, for Your Footprints. Thank You for making me truly aware of the gifts and talents which You poured into me and equipping me, not only to help others, but to help myself, as well. One of our sessions was to write down and then go before the Lord with a plan of action to see how our hindrances could be moved and it was challenging for me. The problem was I had to put my focus on Him and not the distractions in my life.
First, I thank God the Father our Source, the Son, our Word, and the Holy Spirit our Power!!!
I thank God for being our Mentor and giving Reverend Hadland the gift of the Mentor’s Table and being our server. She has been a blessing and is an anointed servant of God with the Power of the Holy Spirit. I thank God for the women at the Mentor’s Table who were awesome as we shared our experiences and I’ve grown to know and love them. Some took on leadership roles as well as those who shared as break out room leaders or intercessors to support Reverend Hadland
Thank you, Rev. Hadland, for your powerhouse of knowledge that you brought to us through your teaching the Mentor’s Table and Boot Camps. May God continue to bless you as you continue to serve Him. We love you!!! This has been an inspiration for me and has allowed me to grow in my relationship with the Holy Spirit!!! Hallelujah!!! Amen!!!
Praise the Lord!
When I began the Mentor’s Table, I kept saying to myself, this is not going to help me. As the first week went by ok Lord nothing happen. Ok Lord, it’s the second week, I don’t feel different. Then the third week, Lord make something happen. I continued looking for God to show up, well He did, on His time, not mine. I have heard many preachers preach about ‘Launch into the Deep’ and ‘Forgiving others”. But this time God was speaking directly to me. I knew God had called me to the ministry, but I thought my years were wasted and I am too old to preach or teach. Well, little did I realize, I accepted my calling and am now in Training.
Then when the server started talking about forgiveness, I had heard this so many times before but this time something was different. God decided to open my ears. I did not know my husband wanted to call me; I did not know my sisters wanted to talk to me. Rev Hadland told me to call my husband and I said I would but was waiting for the right moment. While waiting for the right time, all I can say I heard was, Is My Grace sufficient for you? I answered, yes Lord. Once again God asked me is My Grace sufficient for you? Yes Lord, I answered. God asked me again, then I began to think, did I do something wrong? Then I heard, the same Grace, I showed you, you need to show others. I answered UH! Once again, the same Grace, I showed you, you need to show others, I said, Lord I thought I was.
Long story short it was time to make those phone calls, I did and now I am reconciling with my husband and family. My Pastor wants me to take time to study and teach about the Grace of God.
Thanks be to God!
The Mentor’ Table is a place to go to for understanding what is being taught to you through the poems that were presented and how to understand them through the scriptures of God.
I have identified with the poems with my own feelings and experiences about what was being read to us. I tried to identify with these feelings in my own life and how I have overcome them or how I am still dealing with them. I know that I have the scriptures to help me approach and deal with them.
These sessions have helped me to understand more about the way I feel and how to handle my feelings and experiences by giving them to God and know that I cannot fix them on my own.
I am applying these sessions in my life by being more honest with myself and not trying to hide my feelings and the issues I am facing and to deal with them though the word of God.
It has helped me to see that I was not reaching out to God enough and was depending on myself for healing and getting through difficult situations. I am growing with knowledge of what God wants for my life.
I know I can get through any situation if I depend on and give my situations to God. I was always looking forward to hearing Rev. Hadland explain the poems and when we all shared our experiences with each other. There was such a similarity of what we shared. We were also being blessed at the same time. We all could relate to each other. There was support and understanding from everyone.
It was leading me to keep attending the weekly Mentor’s Table workshops when I wanted to give up many times. I did not want to feel those feelings sometimes. It led me to not giving up because I was being feed the word of God. I know I need to depend on the Holy Spirit through everything that I go through in my life.
Upon joining the Mentor’s Table October 2021, I was at a place in my life where I needed help in starting in the right direction. At that time, my life was filled with coping with death, disaster, and disappointments. I felt alone as if God had let my hand go. But these trials came to make me stronger than before.
The Mentor’s Table and my small group discussions helped me to realize it wasn’t only me. God was preparing me for a time to seek Him more, to love on Him more to embrace the help He had sent my way through the Mentor’s Table. I have learnt to forgive and let go and let God do what He does. I have seen God’s miracles firsthand
These things are what keep me online on Mondays to seek what else God has in store for my life.
I have found the Mentor’s Table to be a safe place where you can be yourself, by removing the mask and allowing transparency to take place.
In reading the poems of Transformational Grace, I was able to identify with them as they related to what I was going through. The fact that they were written from Rev. Hadland’s own experience gives me hope.
The scriptures and lectures caused me to be more intentional about lifting up a standard unto the Lord and to do an introspection of myself, which brought awareness to certain areas in my life that needed to be changed.
The sessions along with the Boot Camps were very enlightening for me. As I listened to the questions and answers I soon realized that I was not alone in the things that I was struggling with i.e. Self Control; Fear of not being good enough; Low self-esteem; Indecisiveness and Insecurity.
However, the weekly lectures and boot camps brought clarity that these were ploys of the enemy, which could only hurt you if you accept them.
I can truly say; before sitting at the Mentor’s Table, I wore a mask for quite some time, I was not my true authentic self, but my false self. “I once was blind, but, now I see.”
Being at the Mentor’s Table these past weeks and being taught and encouraged in the word of God have brought me to a higher level of maturity in Christ. The mask is off and transparency has taken place.
The Footprints of the Holy Spirit have led me to be more intentional in lifting up a standard unto our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ and … Walk the Walk I Talk.
Life is a journey that is taking me on dissimilar highways, routes, and back-roads. The Mentor’s table has helped me to recognize the significance of my adventures and it’s provided me with much-needed guidance. Not realizing it, but God had His hand on me the entire time. The journey doesn’t end here and so with God’s loving guidance, it’s just the beginning of new expeditions in my life.
In my journey of the Mentor’s Table, I traveled on a fast pace Highway, I-95. The insight opened my eyes that revealed to me, I should be more Christ-like and take my relationship more seriously with God. What a turning point in my life! I’ve sowed into the Mentor’s Table for months of studying, praying, sharing, and listening. Because I now take time with my heavenly Father and as a result, I hear the Holy Spirit speaking to me. He gives me direction and answers to questions that I’ve been wavering on. I devote more time to the Lord by reading my Bible, Daily Bread, and daily devotions. Therefore, I’ve learned to put my faith in God.
Another excursion took me on Route 15, The Merritt Parkway which was a place where I can be transparent, vulnerable, and learn about myself; a place where the members of the group could share their concerns. In one of my moments of true transparency, I realized that I was not alone in what was hidden deep down inside of me. It was a place of refreshment in the Lord.
The Mentor’s Table especially helped me to work through those bumpy and windy back roads. Those roads can be dark, scary, and fearful.
- One road was dealing with my son’s passing and my surgery. The poems from “Transformational Grace” helped me to press on. Giving my struggles to God and believing that he will heal and give me peace through it all. I just had to simply trust in God and put Him first in my life.
- Another back-road had so many hills that I thought, “How can I make it up this hill?” The sessions reminded me that I was not patient, not to take matters into my own hands, learn to forgive, do not be bitter, and more importantly, rebuke the devil at all times in all situations. Since he stays busy, I have to stay busy as well.
This journey has not been comfortable, but what I can take from it, is priceless. The aspects of what I’ve learned has taught me to be patient, spend quality time with God, get rid of the junk that I was carrying around, be obedient to God’s will, don’t be so quick to judge, speak to others in a Godly manner, and to forgive others as well as to pray for them.
God is bigger than any of my obstacles. He is there to support me in the resolution of my problems and comfort me in my pain, hurt, and sorrow. The Mentor’s Table is a place to explore yourself and understand that the ‘Perfector’ of your faith takes care of His children. “Come Into the Deep,” a Mentor’s Table poem showed me how deep my problems were buried. I realize I have to give it to God, trust in Him, and let Him guide me on this journey. I had a lot of work to do and am still working on it. As I mentioned before, it doesn’t end here it’s just the beginning of a new expedition.
Thank you, Rev. Hadland for your teachings, spiritual guidance and dedication to me these past thirty weeks. You have helped me tremendously. I thank God for you because of His Grace given you in Christ Jesus.
Many thanks to my breakout room sisters, your sweet spirit made it easier to be able to share my experiences.
It’s by no accident I was placed at the Mentor’s Table early this year. God doesn’t make accidents. It was designed by Him and thank God I was obedient to His calling. I first heard about the book “Transformational Grace” from my dear friend, Gwen Hepburn, a few years ago, when we were searching for a book to discuss at our prayer meeting. I actually gave the book away before getting a chance to dive deeper. But the message found its way back.
The morning of the first poem, Gwen mentioned to me that her sister, Rev Hadland, was going to start a zoom class that evening at 7 p.m. Anyone who knows me well, knows that I get up in the morning with the birds and go to bed at sundown. In other words, I’m not a night person. However, there was no hesitancy when I hung up the phone from Gwen. I immediately went on Amazon, downloaded the book on my Kindle and found myself sitting at the Mentor’s Table that evening.
Like many of us, my 2020 had its twists and turns. Shortly after the pandemic started, I lost my job of seventeen years and although I tried to stay in the Word, constantly reading my devotions, participating in zoom meetings for Church, Prayer and Bible study, trusting God to see me through, I still didn’t feel fulfilled. I felt empty. I longed for a change within me, but didn’t know what direction to turn. There were unresolved areas of my life that I was not addressing and this is what God was trying to say to me. I was afraid to face them and found every excuse not to deal with them. Of course, it was easier to delay and ignore. From the very first meeting, and throughout the sessions, the poems have opened my eyes and made me aware of my downfalls and if I truly want to honor God – as I do, I had to start working on them. I was uncomfortable talking about what the poems meant to me. Now looking back, I realized that God was asking me to stretch. He continues to take me out of my comfort zone and I now know this is outside of my comfort zone is where I belong; it’s the only way I am going to grow into the person God created me to be.
And I have grown. Of course, it’s still a work in progress. I have overcome some fears; one that weighed heavily on me last year: the situation with my boss. And wow, what a relief – the burden that left me once I was bold enough to address it. I was able to peacefully sleep, forgive and move on. I’m finding myself more willing to jump into situations: ‘Just do it,’ instead of putting things off. I say to myself afterwards, “Well that was easy, why didn’t I do that a long time ago?”
I know that I have to be honest with myself. I know that I have to stop striving for a predictable and safe lifestyle, acknowledging of course, that I can’t do this journey on my own. In order for God to do a new thing in me, I have to stop going back to my old ways of trying to control and predict everything on my own and truly seek God in greater depth and breadth; truly trusting God on this journey for He has never failed me.
As the first poem indicates – “Look to the Source,” for my security rests in God alone. I’m excited to experience all that He has prepared for me. I truly believe that everything is in God’s timing and that I need God in every step of the way. Acknowledging this is one thing; walking and living in this mindset daily is another.
I don’t believe I would have been willing to make the necessary changes in my life, if not for studying this book at our prayer meeting. Rev. Hadland pouring herself into the Mentor’s Table has surely brought me to a better place in my life and I will always be indebted to her obedience to God. I thank Rev. Hadland and all of you who shared on this Mentor’s Table.
The Mentor’s Table is truly a place where and I quote, “Passion meets Purpose”.
As I pause and reflect on the past three (3) years, I am reminded of the goodness of God. Each Monday as we dined at the table, Reverend Hadland read and dissected each poem, each of which was immersed with accompanying scriptures, causing every verse to be transformed into delectable dessert!
My words cannot adequately explain my thoughts, therefore, I am compelled to reference a part of the preface, so divinely expressed by Reverend Sandra Hadland and I quote:
“It identifies with our inmost times of hurt, of pain and of frustration, while offering incites of hope to work through a process that will ultimately guide us into purpose”… “It awakens the subconscious to the truth that, on the road to purpose, trials and tribulations are necessary implementations for the refinement of character!”
What an awakening it was, as each week, layers upon layers of masks were meticulously peeled off, one by one, sometimes unashamedly, sometimes voluntarily, sometimes painfully, sometimes slowly, sometimes reluctantly but inevitably they were being removed, creating the need for deep introspection and self-evaluation of ‘The Naked Truth’ and owning that truth!
Freedom, Freedom!!
Surely these poems had to have been divinely inspired; how else can one explain the intrinsic connection of these poems identifying with each participant?
As the journey continues, without blaming or finger pointing, one must take the wheel and with it, accountability, and responsibility, being aware of every detour, roadblock and of course, other drivers. The choice was made to intentionally accept, appreciate, and understand ‘The Perception of the Bitter Pill’ as ‘Favor of the Divine’ and ‘Be Grateful to Dare to Believe’ that ‘Sacrifice is Eminent to the Reaping of the Harvest’ and accepting the ‘Realization’ of ‘Self-Emancipation’, in order to be ‘Poured Out Like a Cup Overflowing’.
And so, it is with gratitude, love, and appreciation for the deep bond of friendship that was shared and developed from the depth of tears and laughter, highs, and lows, becoming stronger and better from the experience of a book of poems, ‘Transformational Grace.’
To God be the Glory!
2023 marks my third year at The Mentor’s Table and I am still in awe of how much I have learned and grown …. “Why is it, you ask?”
The Mentor’s Table is revolutionary! After 3 years, it still brings a renewed perspective every time I attend the weekly zoom calls. It has become a sacred place among Christian women where we can discuss the fullness of God through readings, sermons, and fellowship. At every weekly session, God shows up, revealing His perfect will for our lives in and through the readings captivated in Transformational Grace.
What I enjoy most about the book, is no matter how many times I read it, I take away a unique perspective/teaching each time. It showers me with God’s wisdom through cited Bible verses captured throughout, while I gain a deeper understanding of God’s grace and purpose for my life through the chat sessions. At times, I leave our two-hour calls with a knowing that “It is well with my soul”. I enjoy our time where we create relationships through our fellowship with one another.
Reverend Sandra Hadland has dedicated her life to God, which is captured in Transformational Grace, a book of inspiring anthology of poems written by and based on her life, to inspire hope and bring everlasting change to those who read it. I also value listening to Reverend Hadland’s deliberate writings and spiritual guidance and Godly wisdom. I find myself relating to what she imparts to me, as well as to each woman at the table. It is a time to share feelings and testimonies of how good God is and the impact The Mentor’s Table has been on my life and the lives of other women.
This year’s Mentor’s Table allowed me to go DEEP and surrender myself unto the Lord so that He could bring me through “more challenging” storms and trials, pains and disappointments. A journey that allowed me to fully “Let Go and Trust God” while He releases His Love and Grace into “unchartered” areas in my life. Areas storing the greatest trials, pain, and spiritual tests. This year was extremely hard as I took highs/lows, while releasing my fears aside, and fully trusting God as I press on. going deeper and deeper, believing I will be reformed in God’s image. Those thirty weeks inspired me to keep my eyes on God despite how I felt in my circumstances…
Long after each series ends from a thirty-week run, I still apply teachings and testimonies shared at The Mentor’s Table. We all struggle and seek comfort at the Table. During our sessions together, we are encouraged and uplifted as we read and reflect on experiences shared in Transformational Grace, guiding us to a deeper meaning that shows us His ways are greater than we can ever ask for. Seeing how wonderful His transforming work impacts my life.
To God be the Glory for the Mentor’s Table, a place to bring out God’s best in every one of us. I will always reflect and share the lessons learned, the wisdom gained, and memories shared at The Mentor’s Table.
I can attest, you will also gain a deeper perspective and meaning to life as you come and dine with God at The Mentor’s Table.
I give God thanks and praise for inspiring Rev. Sandra Hadland to author the book of poems called Transformational Grace. Rev. Hadland then started The Mentor’s Table using one of the thirty poems as a weekly biblically sound teaching with a 30-minute breakout room. The breakout room sessions were intense, causing me to do soul searching and to examine myself concerning my decisions. It also gave me an opportunity to make new friends and see the perspective of other people, an opportunity to grow spiritually.
I came to this group as an introvert yet a survivor, after suffering decades of Verbal, Mental, Emotional and Financial Abuse. The breakout room was a challenge in the beginning but became easier as we bonded and there is now a comradery there.
I have found Rev. Hadland to be compassionate, a true servant leader who leads by example, who sets a standard for everyone to follow.
In the 26 months that I have known Rev. Hadland, she has been nurturing as I have tried to normalize my life.
- Two months after joining in 2021 my son died, this Group, Rev. Hadland and the Prayer Intercessors called and prayed for me, sending flowers.
- Then in December 2021, I was hospitalized with COVID for a month. Again, The Mentor’s Table was there for me, during my recovery, encouraging me when I wanted to quit in January 2022.
- In recent times during year 2023, I lost my Passport and Voters Card and was told that the process would take six to eight weeks, but it took two weeks. “Walking by faith and not by sight” works. Praise the Lord!
- Despite the obstacles, I travelled to The Mentor’s Table Celebration. My ticket was gotten before I got my passport, only through God’s grace and mercy. So many prayers.
- Despite transportation issues I was able to get my passport in one week.
- I have gotten a replacement Voters Card.
- With the help of a sister from this group, my police record was applied for and picked up.
- My last trip was in October 2014, so I was overjoyed to be able to travel to this celebration and even more thankful to those who have assisted me along the way to make this possible.
As I reflected on the thirty poems, these are the ones that remind me of my life:
- “God Has Heard My Cry for Help”
- “ Life is a Journey”
- “Perception of the Bitter Pill”
- “Born to be Free but Living in a Cage”
- “Sacrifice is Eminent to Reaping a Harvest”
I pray to God to have the perseverance and endurance to be more focused and intentional in my sessions this coming year in the theme “WALK WITH ME.”
I thank God for Rev. Hadland, the Prayer Intercessors and my sisters of the Mentor’s Table Incorporated, for providing a safe place for me to be amid my storms, trials, and tribulations.
The Mentor’s Table has and is such a blessing to me. Reverend Hadland is an excellent mentor and teacher. She believes in the excellence of God and demonstrates that in the ministry of the Mentor’s Table. I had previously read the book ‘Transformational Grace’ and used it for the Church of the Redeemer’s bible study. I was so truly blessed by the book that I did not hesitate to be a part of the Mentor’s Table.
God spoke to me about the real me and my relationship with Him. The book, Transformational Grace, exemplifies the Grace of God as I was transformed each week. God was peeling the layers of the world from me like an onion. I was learning who I really am and not what other people think I am. Each week I saw myself through each of the poems. There was no hiding. I especially loved the poem “The Journey”. This poem spoke to me that I cannot take shortcuts in life. There are trials and tribulations on this journey of Life that I must endure and God is with me. The Holy Spirit is my guide and is guiding me during this journey at the Mentor’s Table. The truth is making me free from my fears and bondages. I see the purposes and destiny that God has for me. I highly recommend the Mentor’s Table and the book ‘Transformational Grace’.
The Mentor’s Table has meant a lot to me this past year. It has helped me to realize myself in a new light. I also had the opportunity and privilege to experience God in a new light. I have enjoyed being in the class when I was able to do so. I have enjoyed the sisterhood within my group and the table as well. This year’s theme was ‘Going into the Deep’, and though I did not realize what that would entail, I enjoyed the journey. I am looking forward to the last class since I missed the one last year. I have enjoyed being a part of the Mentor’s Table, and I thank God for Rev. Hadland and her service. I love you all so much.
God Bless Always.
This year marks my second year with The Mentor’s Table and yet, I feel I have gained a deeper appreciation and understanding of what God is showing me through Reverend Hadland’s poems in Transformational Grace. Even though I attended last year, the presence of the Lord is ever present. I find that I am continued to be encouraged and uplifted by the women at the table each time here are conversations of our need for spiritual and physical healing and how much the Lord continues to bring us into a greater understanding and appreciation of His perfect will for our lives. What I find so impactful is how it has helped me to discover how beautifully the poems capture how the Lord is able to create a separate experience, from the same poems and scripture the second time I attended. Highlights at the table included discussions concerning the vision board and the Rose bush. We shared how God is using those assignments as opportunities to dig deeper in order to become on one accord with where God wants to work I us and through us. I found this year’s session fulfilling my spiritual appetite in ways that I never realized I was still in need of. “A good meal”. Through Reverend Sandra Hadland’s guidance and leadership, spurned by the Holy Spirit, I along with the ladies at the Mentor’s Table continue to share how each poem has impacted our lives. As a result, this year, I am more able, to act on areas within my life that need change more so than last year.
Here is where I have grown the most know that I am a “work in progress”. In the eyes of our Lord, He offers up His perfect will so every time we are at the table there is a common theme throughout our break-out sessions. We use those sessions to share our stories and outline how we can do all things with the Lord’s help. The beauty of the poems represents hope, where I find I can achieve in my daily living. The poems in Transformational Grace supplement a need for me to reflect on what we shared during our weekly sessions; reflecting Gods’ perfect Love and showing how He brings enlightenment and resolution in areas in which I know I struggle. In the end, I see there is certainty that I will be victorious, and all is well.
In summary, I love how God is faithful through His Word and seeking Him where He brings me to a place where I can know Him; know His heart for me, and what is important to Him. I believe He shows me His will for me, in different ways, for example: in relationships, in experiences, in listening to music, reading poems, etc. God will open those doors as opportunities to come to know Him in different ways. By attending The Mentor’s Table, in my second year, I find it has afforded me another opportunity to fellowship not only with God but also with other Christian women who likewise value coming to seek the Lord for His perfect will being done in their lives. We fellowship together, uplifting and encouraging each other as the Lord reveals Himself by outlining His vision through our discussions at The Mentor’s Table.
Thank you for sharing your time, resources with us every Monday night, Reverend Hadland at the Mentor’s Table.
Rev. Hadland is the server of God’s Word. She helps us understand that Jesus is our standard for living. Throughout her book, Transformational Grace, her poems illustrate what the grace of God means.
The book with its poems is another way of explaining Jesus and since I’m a Christian who is saved by God’s grace, I’m able to identify the relationship of the 5 books of poems that are in the Bible. It was positive and was written by someone know who is a follower of Jesus.
In 2018, I purchased 6 of the books and distributed them to family and friends. I use the book as a devotional guide and read sections of it daily. Jesus is the center of my life and the book reaffirms that. It has helped me to grow spiritually and has enabled me to add Transformational Grace to the 5 books of poetry that I have read in the Bible. They are: Job, Psalms, Proverbs, Ecclesiastes and Songs of Solomon.
I have grown because the class was very diverse. There were many people from different nationalities. It was very interesting meeting them. Zoom played a very important part in keeping us all together.
Each week Rev. Hadland gives a summary of the poem she has teaches and dictates questions regarding it. We are sent to our groups to work together to answer the questions.
The footprint the Holy Spirit led me to page ten in the book. It requested that we write a letter to God. I wrote a letter to God. It was quite an experience as I had never written a letter to God before. The Holy Spirit has also led me to encourage persons to take this course.
As a little girl, my mother always talked about Jesus and cornbread was always on the stove. My testimony to this day is Jesus and cornbread.
The Mentor’s Table has meant so much to me. I have grown so much since I joined the group. I looked forward to Monday nights when I could see all of my sisters’ beautiful faces. The Mentor’s Table has genuinely been a blessing to me. I am grateful for the opportunity to be a part of such a lovely group and participate in what the Lord has to speak to us through His Holy Spirit. I thank God for the genuine love I felt from everyone at the table, and I am thankful for the support I received. The Mentor’s Table has been a lifeline for me, and I look forward to being a part next year. Thank you for your service, love, phone calls, counseling, guidance, and support. I love you very much.
I am looking forward to going into the deep! I know it will be quite a journey!
Transformational Grace poems capture your heart. I was blessed tremendously by so many of the lyrics. To keep my list short, I would have to say my top two poems were “The Naked Truth” and “Born to be Free But Lived in a Cage.” Facing some hard truths about the areas in my life was hard but necessary, and I realized that I was limiting myself to a caged life, and I needed to allow myself to soar and be free and not allow fear, doubt, or even myself to hold me back. This book has been a great blessing in my life. I thank God for using you to help so many others.
Thank you, Reverend Hadland, for your transparency and for allowing your life to be a testimony!
When I found myself at a spiritual standstill, uncertain of my direction and purpose I met Sandra and her book on Transformational Grace. Through the words of her poems and the workshops she leads, Sandra’s work has guided me into the deep places where God and Spirit dwell. I have appreciated that her poetry comes from her own life experiences and her searching for understanding and meaning. They are prayerful and pastoral and have opened up places for my own reflection and exploring. The book has been so helpful to me in my spiritual journey that I have used it with individuals and groups in my work as a pastor. God called her to provide spiritual direction to those of us on the journey. I am thankful that she accepted God’s call.
What I love about Transformational Grace is how it speaks directly to my life. No matter which poem I read it makes me say “hey that’s me, that’s my life, that is what I am going through”. Sandra Hadland has captured so well the emotional highs and lows we experience on this journey of life. These are not just words, but her experiences poured out so that others may learn, grow, and be changed. “Come Into The Deep” is one poem that God used to encourage me to step out on faith and trust Him regarding a decision that would ultimately stretch me for His purpose. While reading the poem it deeply touched me with God’s assurance that He knows my struggle, and my concerns giving me the confidence to move forward. With such an impact, I have shared Transformational Grace with my friends, colleagues, and other people struggling or going through something whom I believe would also find inspiration and hope within these poems. And the way it has influenced my own spiritual development, led me to hold a couple small group sessions with Sandra guiding us in a personal discussion, and helping us to see the depth within. Truly transformational, and profoundly grateful.
I am amazed at the move of God on the Mentor’s Table. I’ve taken this course for the first-time last year but the Holy Spirit has moved us in a new and different direction. I’ve been blessed by removing the masks. I am looking forward to the next Mentor’s Table because I want to go deeper in the Lord.
The Mentor’s Table for me is a safe and fun environment for a group of sisters in faith to share our experiences, learn and grow through each other’s story and journey.
All the poems have connected me in different ways but I am especially touched and identified with two poems: “Emancipation” and “Destined to Soar As An Eagle”. These two poems allow me to have a clear vision of what God wants me to be for His Glory.
Every week I look forward to the bible study, enjoy the meal with my sisters in Christ. The content of the bible study is well organized and flows nicely through each course. However, I especially enjoy the breakout sessions, as I feel the deeper connection with my fellow sisters thorough our sharing and listening. This discussion allowed me to understand the journey of faith and comforted me in knowing that I am not alone.
These sessions have taught me the importance of staying vigilant in faith and in prayer. The readings and discussions have opened my heart to hear God’s calling for me and His path for me.
It has helped me to be calm and grounded in faith. Instead of rushing to do or say out of my emotional response, I now pause to let the Holy Spirit work in me. I have grown in faith through learning to listen and share; especially knowing that I am not alone in this journey had given me a new prospective on what I am going through. I have also learned to recognize my emotions and refocus to God through prayers and ask for Peace and Wisdom.
“STAND FIRM IN THE STORM” is my favorite topic. I am gaining my trust in HIS promises and purpose for my life every time I face challenges.
Becoming a disciple to GOD is not easy, but He has promised that He will be with me till the end. My footprints of the Holy Spirit had led me to accept the calling from God, be His messenger. When my life on earth is done, I want to hear His confirmation saying, “Well done, my faithful servant”.
Thank you, Terry, for introducing and inviting me to Mentor’s Table. Thanks Rev. Hadland for welcoming and taking me to another level of spiritual growth experience. And thanks to all sisters in Christ for sharing your journeys with me, you all are instruments of God. I am humbled and honored to be amongst you all.
Enlightening…awakening… uncovering…As the weeks went by, my knowledge grew and my weight was lifted.
I am thankful for the thirty weeks when our server labored to passionately deliver each helping…from appetizer to entrée to dessert…there was a lingering, satisfying, refreshing word to digest each week. As each poem was offered as a weekly meal at the Mentor’s Table, our server, writer Rev. Sandra Hadland invited me to unmask, level with myself before God and listen for instructions. I was equipped to exercise recognizing and discerning the Holy Spirit’s voice and encouraged to be obedient and follow God’s directions.
I had to deal with uncomfortable and difficult truths which were previously avoided, buried or suppressed. I developed an appreciation for the work of facing my issues, past and present, deep below the surface for so long. How liberating to bring them to the surface and allow God to heal my hurts, aches and frustrations. The workshops provided a practical manual for overcoming in real life.
The Mentor’s Table afforded a safe space where I could admit that I was wrong. I realized that as the lessons were taught week by week, I had an opportunity to show the Master if I got it. The tests would follow. It became clearer and clearer… theory, and then practical application. Knowing the word was not enough… I had to apply it daily to my situation. Working out my soul salvation with fear and trembling…
Boot Camps I & II were must haves. There was always a conflict tempting me to skip. I learned to be intentional, lift up a standard, to choose to do what God says promptly and offering excellence to God. Learning to say ‘No’ to what was/is not God’s priority and the cost of obedience were my biggest takeaways from the Mentor’s Table. Having a seat at the table helped me to navigate some impossible situations where I proved God to be real and on time. ‘Dare to Believe’ came to life for me. I can testify that from this first season at the Mentor’s Table anyone can come as you are, this is a Safe Space, you can dig deep, and you can expect to (re) discover your Purpose, Sharing and Listening, Support, Accountability, Commitment, Prioritizing, the Integrity- Lifting up a Standard, Excellence, Lesson… then the Test. I learned that Journaling is important so I will not forget what God has done.
The vision board exercise was demanding and was so worth the effort. It was a practical way to get our vision plainly in front of us. I look forward to seeing where God leads me next. It has been a privilege to serve as a breakout room leader and to see my sisters and I grow together. God be praised for the dedication of our celebration committee which I had the honor to chair. Rev. Sandra Hadland thanks for being God’s obedient server. You are humbly demonstrating what it is to await instructions and follow through of what our Mentor, God directs through His Holy Spirit.
Relationships were built here as we fellowshipped at His Table as one. I learned something from everyone one of my sisters. It is amazing how by the end of thirty weeks, two hours went by faster than on week one. My transformation continues….
The Mentor’s Table to me was a place of restoration, where wounds were exposed, cleaned, treated and bandaged so that the healing process could take place. With transparency, honesty and willingness and sometimes, not so willing to share, brokenness, frustration, bitterness, anger, jealousy, loneliness, unforgiveness, spiritual barrenness and all other strongmen of the sins that so easily beset us were exposed. The reality was I was not alone; there were other broken vessels, shattered pieces longing for healing and mending. And so, the Mentor’s Table became a place of acceptance, come as you are; a safe haven, a place of refreshing, renewal, revival, comfort, security, spiritual stability and yes, Love.
The poems from Transformational Grace, scriptures and lectures were so intertwined, matter of fact and direct that choices had to be intentional. My willingness to make God my source must be from that point where I am willing and prepared to get out of my comfort zone and lunge into the deep. Take responsibility, no excuses. It has to be intentional, all or nothing.
These sessions are enabling the process of my healing. My perspective is different and I realize that my expectations of people are just that, my own. People have to be accepted for who they are and at the place where they are. No one is perfect. I am not perfect, therefore to try to expect perfection is not reasonable. I am less judgmental and more forgiving.
Remembering my first dinner at the Mentor’s Table I reflect on the emotionally crippled person, crying, heavy laden with pain, hurt, depression, oppression, suppression, betrayal and disappointment from people whom I trusted and thought had my back; now I could only smile, oh but the grace of God. That deep feeling of emptiness and asking myself, “Is this all to my life?” They are no longer my friends!! I am in control of my own joy. I determine whether I am going left or right.
Nothing comes easily, suffering, disappointments, hardships are all a part of the journey and building of character and perseverance, olives have to be crushed to make oil. I am being led to be still, no complaining or murmuring but praising my way through.
December 31, 2020, New Year’s Eve, I got a special surprise phone call from Rev. Sandra Hadland. God had placed me in her spirit. At that time I was very low in spirits, because of what was happening in my body.
Rev. Hadland encouraged me with the word of God, and then prayed with me.
On January 23, 2021 Rev. Hadland invited me to the Mentor’s Table. When I joined on January 25, 2021, the poem was “The Beauty of the Rose”.
The Mentor’s Table has given me the opportunity to study and understand more about God’s Word in practical and meaningful ways. I have met people from other countries. It is a place where I have felt that I was with family, and a place of comradeship. I have developed bonds with persons who were initially strangers who I became comfortable with and able to share my deep inner feelings with.
I have opened up about troubling issues that have been in my life. I have gained an understanding of how to cope and to work with some difficult issues, and I have matured spiritually and psychologically.
The poems, scriptures and lectures at the Mentor’s Table have given me opportunities for self-reflection of the ‘exposed me’. I have been more able to examine the underlying reasons that these issues have occurred and to see them as opportunities to grow and to strengthen my relationship and dependence on God our father.
In Rev. Hadland’s lecture on “The Beauty of the Rose” she explained the process of how the rose becomes beautiful with its wonderful fragrance with help from the watchful care-tending gardener. I came to see how I must allow God through the power of the Holy Spirit to guide and assist me in accepting His purpose for my life and the challenges, struggles and trials that are part of my life. I came to learn that I should let nothing prevent me from becoming who God wants me to become.
The sessions at the Mentor’s Table have impacted my life, I have made amends in areas as I came to understand that I needed to from the insights that I have gained through the poems from “Transformational Grace,” scriptures, the lectures and the experience of the boot-camps. Some areas that I have gained insight into are: the need for forgiveness, the need to be aware of a tendency to allow a controlling spirit to rule, and idolatry, allowing people and things to take precedence before God.
I have become more patient and less anxious about things that I cannot control.
The Mentor’s Table has had a tremendous impact on my life and I thank God for the Transformation. I have become more selective in my life’s activities, and things that I allow to take my attention and my energy. I am more focused on the things of God and His Word, and less perturbed by the things happening around me and to me.
Some of the highlights of my weekly journey at the Mentor’s Table were “the Break Out Room”. We shared about many things, the poems scriptures and the lectures, examining what was to be learnt, and how it could have impact in our lives. We prayed together, we encouraged each other, gave advice and generally gave support.
Most of the poems from Transformational Grace, the scriptures, and the lectures, directed me through the Holy Spirit to trust God more, to persevere through the challenges and tribulations and to become who and what God intended me to be and to release myself through obedience to the will of God.
Finally I wish to say a little about my recent experience with the COVID-19 infection. At one point after being told that I had tested positive, the question of going to the emergency room at the Princess Margaret Hospital for treatment discussion was taking place, because my temperature had risen to 104 degrees. In my mind I did not wish to go to the hospital. I knew that if I had been admitted to hospital that I would be alone as family could not visit. I saw this as being left to die alone and I made it known that I preferred to stay at home. My husband agreed and we decided on treatment at home, no matter what.
I called Rev Hadland and informed her about my dilemma and she agreed to pray for me, she called upon the prayer warriors of the Mentor’s Table to trouble the throne of God on my behalf. My husband contacted a family friend, a medical colleague who agreed to assist us.
In less than forty-eight hours the temperature became normal, and I credit this all to the prayers and support from the Mentor’s Table and the support from my team here at home. I give God all praise and thanks.
I have learned during 2023 at the Mentor’s Table to be more diligent about where I stand and to hold myself accountable for the choices I will make moving forward. I am in the world to only work on myself and not others.
Dear Pastor Hadland, The Transformational Grace book of poems was so life changing. We read the book as part of our Bible Study. The members were touched by the Word of God as He spoke to us through the poems. People were healed from past trauma from their life’s experiences. The words were so powerful and revealing. The poems made you reflect on your own personal life and the Holy Spirit spoke to you in ways no man could. Thank you for sharing your life’s experiences through the poems especially the “Letter to God”. God Bless you for allowing God to use you.
I have been a participant of the Mentor’s Table since its inception. The teaching is phenomenal. It helps us to see ourselves in our relationship with God!!!!! We are being set free because of the truth we are learning!!!
At a crucial time in my life God placed spiritual helpers in my path to help steer me in the right direction by way of the MENTORS TABLE.
You name it and I was going through it. DEATH, DESTRUCTION AND DISASTER.
After being introduced to the MENTOR’S TABLE, week after week I was able to cope a little bit more with the daily turbulence of life. I was able to understand and gain more focus on my Christian walk, remembering whose child I am and who I am in Christ.
Thank you to this group of ladies, I have a new family, prayer partners, intercessors, and counselors.
Transformational Grace has opened my mind and heart to accept the challenges in my life. These amazing poems and the Mentor’s Table reminded me of the journeys I have traveled. Therefore, it has allowed me to recognize to honor myself and work on issues that needed much more attention.
Come into the Deep and the Naked Truth were two powerful poems that helped guide me through the process to see the light through the darkness. They made visible to me my shortcomings and they caused me to think more deeply about the act of forgiving. Subsequently, this was an opportunity to release those hidden thorns which were relative to the Rose Bush. What a wake up call.
I have tasted and seen what my God has done for me. It has been an experience for which I am thankful. I am overwhelmingly pleased to be a part of The Mentor’s Table and Transformational Grace.
Thank you Rev. Hadland for being the server of these great teachings.
When a friend invited me to join what I thought was a bible study group, I thought it would be the customary lady’s bible study I was familiar with. However, I soon found out that the sessions every Monday evening were workshops. These workshop sessions were as unique as the leader who described herself as the server and each session was taken from her book “Transformational Grace: A language of the transforming power of God’s grace through poetry.”
The author, Rev. Sandra Hadland has combined poetry with scriptures in a way unimaginable. And oh, her interpretation of the poems and scriptures which comes from her very own experiences made it easy to identify with although sometimes for this participant very difficult to swallow. Moving out of one’s comfort zone can be frightening. I kept recalling “take of the mask and you need to be intentional.” These remarks had me wondering whether this table was the place for me. Yes, I returned to the table almost weekly because a part of me needed the full course meal.
Projects given made me examine myself or do introspection. The Rose Bush project was based on how I saw myself and how others saw me. Many pinned up emotions placed in my sub-conscious, negative emotions and feelings took me to a place of discomfort and fear to a place of release and trust in God. The second project, The Vision Board took me back to my second love, caring and helping others. Caring, enough to know that my family’s salvation is paramount; I realized that my Christian walk needed an overhaul. My actions, attitude and speech often were not Christ-like. Unmasking can be painful, yet healing. Acknowledging and not denying the truth, was life changing. I read and completed online courses to assist me to be better at my gift of help and caring because I want my life to be purposeful and as stated (Jeremiah 29:11) “For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.” It is my desire to walk in and fulfill the plan and purpose of my Heavenly Father here on earth as I await His soon return.
The two Boot Camps, half day sessions covered the titles, My Real Identity: Who Am I and the Healing River. Sessions took place via zoom on March 26, 2022 and June 18, 2022 respectively. I felt that I was in seminary sessions as the meetings were biblical and thorough while simple enough for all to understand. It was apparent that Rev. Hadland placed much time, preparation, and effort into the topics as was evident in the questions and responses of the participants. I made lots of notes but await handouts that will cement my information gathered for recapping in the future.
It was interesting that one of our assignments was a Letter to God. I had taken up this assignment sometime ago and now here again I was writing another. This letter was a combination of my personal thoughts, prayer requests, disappointments, and questions. My scripture focus on this occasion was Matthew 6:25-27; “Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more than food and the body more than clothes? Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they? Can any one of you by worrying add a single hour to your life?” I am realizing more and more after a tough love conversation with Rev Hadland, that I have a Father who loves me, my family and others so much and will be our burden bearer if we allow Him to be the all-knowing, all sufficient God.
Our thirtieth (30) and final session concluded on the topic of Prayer. I was reminded that the “Lord’s Prayer” is a model as to how the believer should approach prayer, knowing that we are communicating and in communion with God helps me focus on the holiness and awesomeness of a God who loves the world so much. I have learned to be specific with my confession of sins, prayers, requests and supplications but not before acknowledging who God is. I thank you Rev. Hadland and the Intercessory Prayer Team, for going before the Lord in faithful prayer and sometimes in battle, for us the participants, weekly. May the Lord continue to bless you and yours and every woman at the Mentor’s Table.
After going through the book “Transformational Grace” and experiencing the Mentor’s Table for the third year, one would say “what more can you get out of it?”
Well let me say that each year brought about a new perspective and meaning that allowed me to grow closer to God. This year was no different – Going into the Deep.
I thank God for Rev. Hadland and her persistence in dragging us into the deep. As much as I probably didn’t want to go there, I concluded that for there to be growth, there had to be this kind of weeding out of all that is not good, those things hindering and keeping us back from experiencing God’s true transformational grace, so we had no other choice but to jump in and go deep.
I understood and sometimes not, the questions Rev. Hadland posed at the end of each section. Often, I left the table pondering trying to grasp what the Lord was putting on my mind and heart, challenging me to go deeper. I thank God for those in my breakout room, Georgia, Li Ling, Karen, Garnell, and Emille who had patience with me and always gave encouraging words as they tried to help me navigate, when possible, through the sessions.
My journey over the years has been incredibly challenging at times, especially my health and finances, but through it all I will be forever grateful to God for His faithfulness. He has been so good to me. I am also grateful to God for placing Rev. Hadland and this book in my life for this part of my journey. I am learning to trust God more, understanding that He is always with me and wants the best for me. I just need to surrender to His Will Always. I will therefore continue to find joy in each circumstance of the journey, because I know this is building my character and I desire to be that person that God can truly trust and count on to do whatever He has called me to do.
Currently, I wish to extend a heartfelt thank you to our humble server of the Mentor’s Table, Rev. Sandra Hadland, and her faithful prayer warrior team.
The teaching by Rev. Hadland from her poems, related scriptures, her interpretation/explanation, and assignments given after each session have given me a new perspective on the way I view things. I am beginning to view people, situations, and my thoughts differently as I go through my daily journey. I respect and am extremely grateful that this woman of God in her direct and matter-of-fact manner. She doesn’t tell us what we want to hear but, what we need to hear and know, using the Word of God.
My Rose Bush has been a constant reminder of the areas that I struggle with, areas less threatening to me now, and areas in which I am a work of progress. The questions that arose from the poems: “Who Am I,” “Emancipated,” and “Sacrifice Is Eminent to Reap the Harvest”, left me with much food for thought. Do I believe and trust scriptures such as: Matthew 6:26-27, 1 Peter 5:7-10 and
Matthew 11:28-30? I know that I have to make some choices, no more lukewarm but, fully sold out for and to Christ, so that His good and perfect will can be performed in my life for His service. I must step aside, move out of my comfort zone, let go of my fears to allow for total dependency and commitment to Christ, if I say He is my Lord and Savior. I must learn how to exercise my Faith.
The three Boot Camps were enlightening, educational and informative.
Boot Camp #1, “The Source: The Fullness”, which focused on The Trinity (Father, Son, and Holy Spirit) was in some areas a teaching I had never heard before. Understanding the roles each one plays and how the believer should approach and respond to who the Triune God is, was a revelation.
Boot Camp #2, My Real Identity: Who Am I? For me, this session led to a time of introspection. It was reinforced that if we do not have the indwelling Holy Spirit in our lives, we are walking in darkness. This should never be the plight of the believer in Christ as once we place faith in God, we receive the Holy Spirit.
Booth Camp #3, “The Healing River.” I understood from this session that my healing is tied to 2 Peter 1: 1-11, with a focus on verses 3-4 which states: “3 His divine power has granted to us all things that pertain to life and godliness, through the knowledge of him who called us to His own glory and excellence, 4 by which He has, granted to us His precious and very great promises, so that through them you may become partakers of the divine nature, having escaped from the corruption that is in the world because of sinful desire”. (ESV)
I realize that I must be intentional in relinquishing every aspect of my being, life situations and fears to the Lord. I must stop holding back or holding on. If Jesus is my Lord and Savior, I must allow Him to be who He is and take Him at His Word and Promises. His word states in Psalm 84:11, “For the Lord God is a sun and shield; The Lord bestows grace and favor and honor; No good thing will He withhold from those who walk uprightly.” (AMP)
Transformational Grace, is like reading the Psalms for today’s world. I could see myself, be inspired and challenged all at the same time. A friend of mine called me not long ago very distraught about some decisions that need to be made. I listened and prayed with her then sent her the poem, “Look to the Source” along with the worksheet. Two weeks later I heard how reading the poem several times did not give her the answers she needed but it gave her the place where she needed to start; not with her own mind but with God. It was the ‘kick’ to move her from her anguish to peace because it reminded her that she was leaving God out of her decision making. Thank you Sandra for sharing your heart and God’s wisdom.
My GOD! The Mentors Table,
I can say without a doubt or waiver that since I have joined the Mentor’s Table, my life has been in a place of deep soul searching. I have been stirred, or for a better word, awakening of some dead ligaments.
This ministry is a blessing to my family and I, in the sense that, because of what is imparted in me overflows to my family and others which allows me more freedom in God, and thus causes me to be more tempered.
All of the poems are relatable, but some are deeper, and therefore touches the very depth of my soul. The poem that stands out to me is The Naked Truth. I have come to realize that all have not been well with my spiritual man.
A radical adjustment is needed to my behavior towards the people that I claim to love, that among other areas of my life as well. The poem “The Naked Truth” truly brought me into the deep. I did not realize that I was in such a state of being unwell.
Thanks for the fellowship and communion with the sisters at the table. I dare to believe and be more trustworthy to God, and of God. Thanks to Pastor Hadland for her obedience to serve up some dishes on the Lord.s Table that is sweet at times, bitter, confrontational, and soul searching, but truly awakening and eye opening at the same time. May God’s blessings continue to flow on her and her family, and most importantly her ministries.
With GODS Love
The Mentor’s Table is exactly what I have yearned for, to learn how to put into action God’s word, making it more than words on a page but real in my life. Over thirty weeks Reverend Sandra Hadland, our server, has gracefully guided us on a journey of introspection uncovering those hidden places in our lives in preparation for growth. It has not always been easy, and at times painfully difficult to see the mess, but getting unstuck is what this is about. The spiritual poems from ‘Transformational Grace’, along with the Scriptures at the end of each poem, lectures, boot camps and even the exercises, have been taught in an experiential way to give a revelation of the person of Jesus Christ and His standard for living. Moreover, the Scriptures found at the end of each poem have been made known in a way for real understanding that we are not only hearing it but living it. I learned that being intentional about the work that needs to be done means accepting the challenge, facing the truth, and trusting God. The work done at the table is where God is made real.
All the poems have spoken directly to me causing a change in my life. While I have been affected by each of the poems there are simply too many to go through individually.
“Look to the Source” is one poem that pushed me to accept responsibility for my choices without making excuses justifying my actions or anything that does not match up to God’s standard. In addition, it stretched me to take a step of faith into an opportunity for the office that I might otherwise not have done, simply by doing it afraid.
A pivotal poem was “A Letter to God”. It was a place of surrender where my focus shifted from myself to God. Reverend Sandra Hadland encouraged us to write our own letter to God and to share it with the group. It was in the action of doing it, that I got to see me for me with all my striving and busyness to succeed by doing it myself. God got my attention. It was time just jump in by trusting Him. And that I did by offering to be an intercessor and pressing further, agreed to be the lead intercessor for the Mentor’s Table.
Participating in the discussions both in the breakout rooms and the larger group have afforded the opportunity to share the pains, and embarrassments that come simply by living, in a safe, nonjudgmental environment. The support has been encouraging, the stories inspiring and together we have grown through the experience.
The two boot camps revealed to me a deeper understanding of who I have been created to be and what holds me back from being free to live in the power of God’s grace. These powerful messages opened my eyes to see things more from God’s perspective.
My life has been transformed by the grace of God and the experience of The Mentor’s Table. I look for Him in the ordinary, push beyond my own limitations and see His overflowing grace in the lives of others in ways I have not before. Absolutely Grateful! The culmination of this transformative thirty-week journey is a celebration of praise on to the Lord.
Are you ready for the change? It is time to just jump in.
I arrived at the Mentor’s Table with uncertainty. I didn’t know what to expect. However, I was also hungry. The baby formula on which I was being nourished was no longer sustaining me.
Boy, oh boy, have I been fed. Intention. Introspection. Challenged. Stretched. Pushed. Encouraged.
How do I reflect Christ? Am I working for God or am I allowing God to work through me?
This has been an experience and opportunity to grow in my relationship with Christ that I am so grateful for. I stepped out of my comfort zone and the Lord met me, fed me and has grown me.
To God be the glory for Rev. Hadland’s obedience and allowing Him to use her via The Mentor’s Table.
As I continued to walk life’s journey, I realized that the Mentor’s Table has been at the forefront of my life. This is my third year on the Table and each year I have gained more knowledge about who I am and what God means to me.
I have been able to apply the teachings from Rev. Hadland to recognize my weaknesses and those dark places that I would like to put behind me. However, it has opened the door to healing, understanding, and self-love. The teachings have shown me that with my faith in our Heavenly Father and giving it all to Him, nothing is impossible.
I have learned to be consistent in my prayer, worship, and belief, to depend on the Holy Spirit for all things. I am continuing to remove the junk that weighs me down and at the same time, being patient. The Poems of Transformational Grace have spoken to me each week and have shown me that I cannot hide from my shortcomings. While working on those tough areas, God has given me strength and wisdom to help me grow.
The journey of my life continues to be uncomfortable at times, but each trial is a testimony for me to be a better woman and to take a closer look at myself spiritually, mentally, and physically.
I have always said that God is bigger than any of my obstacles. He is always there to support me in the resolution of my problems by comforting me during all my hurt and pain. And, lastly, I get to enjoy the fruits of my labor and my hard work which are God’s blessings, as I live each day.
Thank you, Rev. Hadland for your teachings, and spiritual guidance. You are always available for consultation. I continually thank God for you because of His Grace given to you in Christ Jesus.
Thanks to my breakout room sisters, your sweet spirit made it easier to be able to share my experiences.
“What the Mentor’s Table Means to Me”
Monday, January 25, 2021, was my first introduction to the Mentor’ Table. The poem was, “The Beauty of a Rose.” I was fortunate enough to attend both Boot Camps that semester and was grateful that I was able to also attend the celebration. The Mentor’s Table semester 2022, unfortunately, I was unable to attend or function to participate in any of the activities, because I was ill.
I know that the Intercessors were praying for my recovery. In September 2022, I spoke to myself while looking in the mirror, saying that “ I am tired of being sick and if I have to patch myself up, I am going to church.” I did just that! Slowly but surely, I began to get stronger daily. Thanks be to God on New Year’s Eve 2022, Rev. Hadland called as she usually does from time to time, checking up on me. She asked if I had registered for the Mentor’s Table and I said no, she replied that I must be there, and I said OKAY. January 9, 2023, I was present and early for the new semester. This experience of “Going into the Deep” has been an experience that words cannot comprehend but I will try to explain as best as I can.
The poems all took on another format, the lectures we had and mind exposures, I really had to dig deep down inside and go way into my subconscious to answer questions – it was going into the deep. Poem ”Emancipation”, July 3, 2023, I was think, Oh this a happy one, but with the lecture when Rev. Hadland stated that yes, we had received Jesus as our Savior but because of not giving up temporal things; by not acknowledging the Holy Spirit who will help us to get rid of these stuff, therefore, these things are holding us in bondage, so we are not Emancipated! I was there pondering, Lord will I ever be able to get it right? The answer then was, it is not an easy thing to overcome, but it is a process that must be dealt with in daily submission to God.
This Mentor’s Table has helped me to mature so much. I am not taking things just as they are said or as I see them. Instead, I have allowed the Holy Spirit into my life to guide me, so I am amazed at myself. I have become more vocal, bold, and looking at things from another angle. I am also more compassionate and more understanding of God’s words. I thank God for my sisters in the breakout room, which was led by Terry Dwyer. We share a fellowship that is so unique, and we challenge and encourage each other to press on. Thank you, Terry, and my sisters in Room 4. Rev. Hadland I appreciate and thank you for being my spiritual mother guiding me in the path that I should go. At present, I am still taking the oral treatment, but I continue to feel better, and I am getting stronger. Thank You Intercessors – Prayer works!
With the benefit of two years at the table, walking by faith through a pandemic, 2023 represents a deep dive for me. The Mentor’s Table Workshops and Boot Camps were deeper and richer. One highlight was getting a clearer picture of who God is in essence and understanding the roles of the ‘Three in One’ God. I saw my need for richer and deeper intimacy with my Heavenly Father, Jesus Christ, and the Holy Spirit.
This was my third year having the privilege of leading a breakout room. The questions required deep soul-searching. There were never simply yes or no answers. Special thanks to my group for your cooperation and for putting up with my insistence to dig deeper. Weekly reporting sharpened my listening, verbal and writing skills.
The follow-up portions helped me to deal with messy matters including multiple layers of clutter. This year I got a breakthrough and tackled the ugly, disgusting areas which were erstwhile avoided. I delved into the realm of removing physical, emotional, and mental clutter. Clearing the rooms at all these levels has brought me to a new level of clarity, focus and determination to continue living for Christ.
No longer strangled and overwhelmed by taking on too much. I am further along.
I am so much lighter, richer, and more effective. The Holy Spirit has liberated me and restored my creativity. I exercised the power of saying no. I thank God for teaching me that lightening my load, committing to self-care, and scaling back. Delegating more has freed me up to be in a healthier place. The power of ‘no’ has been so enlightening and liberating.
To all participants, your powerful testimonies have enriched my life! To the intercessors and worship team, you are doing magnificent work for the kingdom. Keep on!
I thank Rev. Hadland for continuing to allow the Holy Spirit to use her to serve up such scrumptious helpings again, for these past thirty weeks. I have seen God putting together so many pieces in the puzzle of my life and showing me how I fit into His masterpiece for kingdom building.
Being awarded for perfect attendance at the 2023 celebration was the icing on the cake. Only God! I am so expectant to see what He will do next!
I knew it was going to be a tough year at the start of 2023 because I had many hard choices to make and things to do throughout the year. It was a year where I was simultaneously challenged on multiple dimensions, the layers were pealed back, and I had to be honest with myself and vulnerable before God. With the help of the Mentor’s Table, the poems, scriptures, and small group discussions I had to confront the fact that my faith was not as strong as I thought it was, I was fearful, and often relied on fact and what I could see, instead of God’s promises.
The Mentor’s Table focus on “Going into the Deep” was a blessing. Many of the lessons paralleled the challenges I faced. The testimonies and openness of the sisters helped me as I sought to let God’s will be done. Over the months, I learned what it meant to truly let go and let God…to praise Him and live in a state of praise without knowing the outcome. I learned to listen to His voice, to trust Him even when logic and the facts suggested otherwise, and through everything I faced I saw God pour His blessings out on me.
Over these past few months, it became real to me that God is always on time, He can do the impossible and make something out of nothing. All He asks is for me to surrender my imperfect faith to Him.
In my second term of The Mentor’s Table, I am humbled knowing that my being here on earth was only by His Grace and Mercy. I am touched by all of Rev. Hadland’s poems from Transformational Grace.
I received a revelation while working on my assignment “The Beauty of The Rose”. I read the poem over and over again to have a better understanding of The Gardener’s purpose of planting a ROSE.
I see myself as a rose in His garden.
The first thing I realized as a rose I got handpicked by the Gardener. Secondly, He used loving, patient and gentle care to nurse me from the seedling. He took care of me, even before I was born!
His dedication is such that He sheltered me from harsh weather, pests and all others that would prevent my growth. His kindness is so much that despite me having thorns all over my growth, he took me in. He believed in me so that I would grow and His patience in knowing that I would bloom and open my petals glorifying my Maker.
I was on my knees thanking GOD for opening my eyes to see HIS Love, Mercy and Grace through the process of meshed with the soil of the ground to becoming the beautiful rose.
Even though the thorns give me the space to be free of everyone, I am aware that my thorns are what make others hard to accept me to get to know me.
Yet, in spite of all my flaws and thorns, God sticks with me to the end and allows me to grow to my full potential. With His love, I will be a witness and spread the light and love.
With the guidance from The Mentor’s Table and God’s help, I will emerge the sweet-smelling aroma that flows out and draws others along on the journey. I will help and be with others along my journey. Just as I was loved despite my flaws, I will show my love to others who are in need of God’s love, the lost sheep and unbelievers. With the help of the Holy Spirit, I will pursue the life of Jesus Christ, speak His name and spread the Gospel all over the world.
The Mentor’s Table meant a lot to me in helping me with my walk with God. I am truly happy to have been able to be a part of the family. The poems and sessions opened my eyes to look deeper within myself. I knew my weaknesses and my strengths. The sessions made me examine myself and made me more conscious of them. I have been taking more time in prayer with God and asking Him to help me correct my life.
The Mentor’s Table has given me renewed purpose and I no longer see myself as a victim but a victor, now realizing that I had to go through what I did, in order to be where I’m at now…
I left the celebration knowing that this was only the beginning of my walk with Christ, His plan for me and how I should strive to live as one who loves the Lord.
The Mentor’s Table in cycle three has brought me to a place of deeper introspection. I would almost consider it to be a lifeline as I have come to the realization that I am quite capable of speaking the Word of God, but the real-life application has fallen short. I tend to lean to my own understanding rather than trusting God. With each session, poem and lecture God has kept me focused on my relationship with Him, or the apparent lack thereof. This to me is a stinging truth, yet one that needs to be addressed to “go out into the deep.” And one that I am profoundly grateful to have the opportunity to work on.
Right from the start, Reverend Hadland gave an analogy and used a visual teaching tool of a puzzle and the numerous pieces of the puzzle. Her explanation and my response to it would be foundational for me with the ensuing thirty weeks, including the three bootcamps. I placed myself at the center of the puzzle. This is not surprising to me, based on my need to control outcomes, get ahead of the Holy Spirit in my walk, my need to know what lies ahead, and even to the point of wanting to control how I live and when I die. Sounds funny, but truth be told, this is how I have lived my life.
What follows over the course of the thirty weeks is the Realization that I am not in control. While each of the poems build upon the preceding one, and I am enamored by “The Source,” this year poem #12 “Realization” resonates with me. As Reverend Hadland explained, life is lived in reality, in fantasy, or in denial, and while I have rested in the fantasy of being in control and the denial that I could possibly control outcomes, I am learning that faith in Christ, continually, daily, living by faith until proven genuine is the way to live. God is with me even in the storm and beyond it. The opportunity presented itself to put this into practice, when in January I experienced an episode that led me to the emergency room, with health concerns that I thought I had put behind me. I allowed anxiety to operate in my life. To this day I am learning that my perspective needs to be, and what I desire it to be is that of Christ, yielding all to Him, moving fear and anxiety out of the way, along with my five senses. I find myself being reminded to move out of the head thinking and allow it to be converted to heart thinking where I may live experientially in relationship with God. Resolved to the journey of a life in Christ.
This cycle there were three bootcamps with each one packing a spiritual punch. What I came to see is that we are spirit beings living in a body, and that the spirit is to rule over the flesh. The first bootcamp “The Fullness/The Source” set the pace for what would follow. In this I learned how important my thoughts, words and deeds are, and once again pointing me to look to the real Source of my life, the Triune God. With bootcamp number two, My Real Identity, Reverend Hadland shared about the mind, the seat of thoughts where seeds are planted and are allowed to germinate, and I either intercourse with good or evil, yet above all, I can make the choice to reflect God or not. Lastly, with bootcamp number three, The Healing River, I see the need to create capacity by getting rid of that which does not belong, from thoughts, to clutter, to go deeper in the depths of God. By my not dealing with past hurts is to live my life as a performance to gain acceptance, truly an ‘eye-opener’, thus I am not being in the genuine purpose for which I am created. My being transparent starts the process to let go, forgive, and heal, thereby getting rid of the junk, to make room to grow.
This year has been an all-out desire of recklessly abandoning myself to God, trusting Him and allowing Him to be at the center of my life, while being intentional about the process of healing. I have found myself speaking up and doing so first when we reconvened at the table for reporting, although those in my breakout room would prefer that I wait and go second or even third.
It has been a season of transparency with myself, answering questions honestly and not what I think others would want to hear, and to take a risk even when I am unable to control the process that follows. At times it has been fearful, and others frustrating, but, most of all, it has been and continues to be a time to grow, to live my life from God’s perspective, and to be resolved to the journey.
Gratefully,
Round two of the Mentor’s Table has been extraordinary in ways I could never imagine. It put the spotlight on the simple, uncomplicated Truth of God while showing me that I make it complicated because of my need to control the outcome and that I look at things from my perspective. What I found is one session compounds on the next with a layering affect. What I learned last time is being strengthened this time. This second session has been more experiential for me where my walk with God is growing stronger. It is a journey of walking by faith, one step at a time, putting into action what has been spoken, taught in the lectures, discussed within the groups, written in the poems, and the Scriptures at the end each poem. In the end the Truth is becoming more real in my life.
Day one, “Look to the Source” brought an awareness of my doubting God, putting my trust in my own efforts, this caused me to procrastinate on things. A simple exercise that Reverend Hadland asked of us to do, list the areas that I cannot fix and then surrendering them to God, along with her explanation “we are all God’s handiwork” and “God is waiting for us to do what He told us to do” helped to challenge me to look from a different perspective. That perspective is to give it to God, take the step, and know that God has it. The difference this year is in stepping out in faith and allowing God to be in control. The realization that God owns everything, including me, encouraged me to make decisions to keep moving forward rather than staying stuck in the analysis.
And then the “Letter to God” once again shared that place of surrendering to God. In the action of writing a letter to God provided the space to freely share with God what is in my heart without judgment, pouring out to God the pain of continually striving to do the work even after giving it to Him. All this would bring me to a place where I threw my hands up in the air, sobbing before the Lord, telling Him I can’t do this anymore myself. In this moment, I surrendered all to God. And what followed was a complete trusting in the Lord to bring me through a dissection in my carotid artery that caused a small stroke which is in the process of healing. I began to see myself for whom I truly am and realized there is nothing I can do without Him. Out of this came a shift from doing everything myself in the business to rolling responsibility onto my employee, and acting on things rather than waiting, analyzing, and rationalizing to the point of paralysis.
At one point during this session, I realized the Vision Board, which was done last year, is the vision God has for my life. It is the purpose and plan God has for me. The foundation of my Vision Board is the Scripture “Trust in the Lord with all your heart, lean not to your own understanding, in all your ways acknowledge Him and He will make your path straight.” The revelation of this is becoming more real in my life as I experience God.
The rosebush tree exercise showed me the obstacles that are there to harm me, keeping me from growing, and if not dealt with, will eventually kill me. Each time I heard the Holy Spirit say “and this too” I would cringe to think this ugliness is a part of me. How could this be? I am a good person, yet they are there to show me who I really am and the depth of how much I need to be transformed by God, for His purpose. This time around my perspective has been shifting from me to God, an opening of my eyes to see more from God’s perspective rather than my own and surrendering to the Lord everything, to be in His service. The choice is mine to make, will I allow God to work amid the situation or will I try to be God to control the situation? As I journeyed these past 30 weeks, more and more I am choosing God, His plan and trusting Him through it all. Preparation for the journey is how the Mentor’s Table has been different for me this year. Walls are being torn down, scales being removed from my eyes and a new perspective coming into focus.
Ready and anticipating the next session of The Mentor’s Table.
The Mentor’s Table is a place of spiritual renewal, challenges, enlightenment, inspiration, encouragement, obedience, family, and love in the presence of God!
The poems, scriptures, and lectures were multifaceted tools in my life. Week after week I felt squeezed, bruised, stirred, and pruned. All the issues which were deeply rooted, previously un-dealt with, that did not belong there, were eradicated out of me. The word of God enlightened me because knowing and believing the word of God is not enough in itself. Therefore, I placed what I know, the word of God, and my belief in Jesus Christ to work. Faith without works is dead! I also realized that I must deny my fantasy to live my reality according to God’s perfect purpose, will, and plan for my life.
The continued applications from the poems, breakout rooms, and boot camp were challenging but were true to the core of the word of God. It was inspiring, encouraging, and so freeing to forgive what I thought was unforgivable. I learned the benefits from life circumstances, pain and sufferings that were beyond my control. I’m now able to understand, how God works everything together for my good. The Mentor’s Table has truly helped me to understand John 8:31-32.
31 To the Jews who had believed him, Jesus said, “If you hold to my teaching, you are really my disciples. 32 Then you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free.” I will no longer live my life controlled by feelings and I will make a conscious effort to make the word of God the key tool to my freedom! What is the truth? The truth is who I am in Jesus Christ, my position in Jesus Christ, and my possession in Jesus Christ.
One of the biggest highlights for me was learning to identify evil spirits and using the word of God to conquer them. In Luke 4:34-35. “Go away! What do you want with us, Jesus of Nazareth? Have you come to destroy us? I know who you are, the Holy One of God!” 35 Be quiet! Jesus said sternly. “Come out of him!” Then the demon threw the man down before them all and came out without injuring him.
The Holy Spirit has led me to a place of surrender, commitment, and obedience unto God. He has given me the patience to wait, faith to believe, and the power to stand!
Pre Mentor’s Table Participation
- I presented to the MT in week # 8/30 (HOPE); it was during an acute stage of bereavement after my beloved mom’s passing. My emotional symptoms were manifested by: periods of irritability, isolation, poor concentration & crying outbursts. Yet, I knew believers do not grieve like those who have no HOPE… Mom simply changed her earth address to a peaceful eternal setting…
- Had ongoing family dynamics with my adult daughters as evidenced by: frequent verbal altercations in the attempt to control the situations and alter my daughters’ lifestyles that can only be changed by God in His time. I overemphasized moral values and over lectured them with excessive Biblical insertions whenever opportunities arose…
- I experienced residual side effects of un-forgiveness that were inflicted by my ex-spouse (physical/financial/emotional and spiritual abuse), exploitation and abandonment of our 3 children during their most delicate years of development…
Post Mentor’s Table Participation
- The MT sessions were therapeutic for the soul… My grieving process was abbreviated by the 3rd MT session.
- I’ve acquired better coping abilities to manage my daughters’ maladaptive behaviors as evidenced by: reminding myself that God loves them more than I do; they have biological genes from their paternal parents, their maternal genetic make-up, environmental influences, other mélanges and combos of society/peers. I am simply a temporary guardian as they were practically loaned to me by God and God alone. He will work everything out as I continue to pray and entrust them in the Potter’s Hands. The devil is a liar and deceptive; he will not steal… them, in the Almighty Name of Jesus Christ, the Lord of Hosts! Halleluiah!!!
- Un-forgiveness does no longer entangle me as I realized that the adversary is the source of all family dissolutions, discordances, divisions (the 3 D’s), hate and chaos. I also realized that because of my Ex’s abandonment and other issues, I’ve become closer to my First Love, my Creator, my Maker, my Provider, my Lord, my Savior, my Healer, my Defender and my everything… To God and God alone be all the praise & glory!
The Mentor’s Table is a safe, wonderful place led by the amazing Reverend Hadland, where I can speak and share openly from my mind without the need to control or be careful of what I might say wrong or getting judged, and at the same time, I can also learn from all the sisters about how great our Father is in their lives too. Each week, I get to know the purpose of His glory, His promises, and blessings, to grow stronger in my spiritual life through Reverend Hadland, my wonderful server, great mentor, and spiritual mother.
The meaning of each poem is so deep that I could not understand them the first-time reading. I always need several readings together with the overviews, then I can relate to my own life experiences and circumstances. And even better after Reverend Hadland does line by line explanations, it gets much easier and clearer to understand, and I can directly feel and relate to my feelings through all these poems.
Every single scripture always speaks directly to me. All the poems highlight that I need to be intentional about ‘lifting up a standard unto the Lord’. Intentionality, on the other hand, involves making a daily choice to glorify God through my life. God’s version of intentionality gives me purpose and direction. It eliminates the need for striving. I simply follow Him and walk according to His will. I have identified that I need to be authentic. I must stop living and acting like the flesh of the world, but to honor Jesus Christ in every facet of my life. God cannot work on me if I am hiding behind or putting on a mask. I must be transparent in front of the Lord. I need an intimate relationship with the Holy Spirit. He is always in charge, and He will always lead me. God is not working on my plan; He will only work when my plan lines up with Him. It requires a deeper relationship with God to identify what God has placed in me and in my life. I must stop struggling unnecessarily and trying to manipulate God to fit into my ‘mold’ of what I want. I must reassure myself that God knows, and He will fix things for me. I should not allow my flesh to overrule my plan or to change the purpose of God for me. There must be an accountability system in place for me. God wants me to be under the water and He wants me to breathe through His lungs only. God is working on me to have a different mindset, and this is called going into the deep. All these sessions of Transformational Grace made me understand and see all the unnecessary issues that blocked me for years. I have been living in my past and was not able to move on.
It has now been healed. I am now a completely changed person, physically, spiritually, and psychologically. I stop rushing to do things, I start asking and talking to Him, waiting patiently for His answer, confirmation, and guidance. Also, no more worry or panic in life because I know the Holy Spirit is always with me, He is in charge, everything is well aligned, well planned and nicely under control. Every time there are difficulties or tough situations to face, I feel so calm knowing that the Holy Spirit will guide me through to solve them smoothly, easily, and successfully for me. I become more patient, calmer, more self-giving and less anxious about things that are beyond my control. I do not operate with my own emotions or will anymore. When I face a difficult situation, I identify and own the problem; I pray, prepare to trust God, and accept His decision. I stop saying I cannot anymore.
The footprints of the Holy Spirit led me to understand that I must respect the boundaries of others and I have no right to judge other people no matter what, in Matthew 7:1-5. Love for enemies has nothing to do with how I feel, and everything to do with my obedience to God. Thus, to love your enemy is to obey God’s law with respect to them, in Luke 6:27-28. And, to stop focusing and struggling with all small matters in life, which are not even a problem, and start having obedient, submissive, not being distracted, purposeful and deeper relationships with God.
The three Boot Camps gave me many strong and powerful messages on how to live my life. I have identified highlights of the Boot Camps. God’s perspective is the attitude I am supposed to be taking or acting out in life, in any situation. Always do things with love, especially when dealing with non-believers. Lift up the standard and ask the Holy Spirit to guide me, to lead me throughout when reaching out to people. If I voluntarily allow God to break me from my soulish nature, if I agree, God allows me to be totally submissive as I let the Holy Spirit lead and break, bruise and roast my soulish nature, if it is the place where the Lord meets me, true worship will be born in every area in my life. Throughout everything holding me in bondage, not available to God, I must throw away everything, give God the right to clear out, creating depth for capacity. Only in the deep, I can catch fish. I cannot catch fish in shallow water.
The final Boot Camp helped me to remove the obstacles so that The Holy Spirit could work on me. The Holy Spirit wants me to forgive the people who hurt me. This brings relief and releases me out of my pain and my scars are cured.
Jesus is the resurrection, He is calling me to receive and accept healing in every area of my life.
This is no accident that I was placed at the Mentor’s Table. I want to specially thank my beloved friend Li Ling for introducing me and bringing me to the table. Thank you Reverend Hadland for accepting and welcoming me to the table and thank you to my breakout room sisters for all my whole new level of spiritual growth experiences throughout week after week. I also want to thank all the sisters for sharing their life journeys, experiences and the amazing work God has done in each of their lives. Blessings to you all.
Transformation Grace book of poems has truly blessed me and is indeed transformative. I found that I was able to identify with each poem. However, “Perception Of The Bitter Pill” spoke volumes to me when I read it. It was like a light bulb went on that has been out for most of my life. It was as though Sandra was telling my life’s story. These poems are encouraging, so much so that I have given “Transformational Grace” to my friends and encouraged others to purchase this book of poems which I assured them will assist them in whatever they are going through. I am looking forward to the workshops.
Thank you Sandra for your obedience to God in sharing your journey in life through poems. You made me realize I was being refined to fulfill my purpose.
I have since changed my way of thinking and my response to certain situations in my life.
I now look from the inside out recognizing, as stated in another poem, “The Beauty of the Rose”.
I know that there is nothing new under the sun, but I have been a member of the Mentor’s Table since January 2023: it is a new, unique experience.
The Mentor’s Table allows me to take introspect while the Holy Spirit shines His light of Holiness on my life.
God is rewriting my story while He heals me. I have seen my life transform with each passing week. I have witnessed the work of the Holy Spirit, He has spoken, guided, and encouraged me through these poems and messages, Oh! The questions are deep but relevant questions that I am sure someone wanted to ask but was afraid to. NOT AT THE Mentor’s Table – the hard questions are asked, and it is up to me to be transparent so the Mentor can guide me in my spirit to reveal what I didn’t know or have ignored for so long. The Mentor who is Jesus, is healing as He shines His light of holiness.
The Server at the Mentor’s Table is hand-picked by God to serve His body in the person if Rev. Sandra Hadland. She is firm, sincere, compassionate, and warm with a gentle smile, all while fulfilling a mandate given to her by God.
Thank you for your continued obedience, Rev. Hadland.
Thank you to the Mentor Himself, Jesus Christ.
Transforming by your grace.
Transformational Grace provides an opportunity to explore the Christian walk through beautiful poems, scriptures and illustrations. I have been challenged to spend time in self-examination, self-evaluation to assess my past and present condition.
Facing my truth heals and liberates me to be who God has called me to be. I have been reminded that God, my Source, plots my course, His Holy Spirit provides direction, the Bible as a manual to pursue a path that is uniquely mine. I must accept His mission by faith in Christ. As a willing participant, He empowers me through His Spirit to face any and all situations in the present and future. The workbook provides a thought- provoking tool for intentionally developing the discipline of putting what I learn from each poem and the scripture reference into practice.
‘The Naked Truth’ invites us to confront our reality, face our shortcomings, admit to wrong and be free of guilt and shame. Nothing is hidden from God. The choice is to stay bound by secrets, lies or to surrender, admit the truth and break free from bondage… to soar!
My responsibility, having committed to this journey is to stay connected by faith. Even when I am uncertain, to hold fast to the knowledge that God does not change. The author skillfully uses the imagery of the river, the seed and the rose to illustrate the process of growth and maturity which happens when we embark on the journey of living for Christ. Getting to higher heights and deeper depths as we co-labor together with God, keeping our destination in focus does not happen overnight. Eventually, we soar, living out our purpose.
I am so excited to continue to study and share the nuggets in this inspirational book with others. It is filled with encouragement to press on, no matter what.
Proverbs 3: 5 – 6
“Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge Him, and He shall direct your paths.”
When I think of the Mentor’s Table, three specific things come to mind: unification, sisterhood and spiritual bonding.
Unification for how we have all come together as one, to build a sisterhood through spiritual bonding each week. A bonding, in the name of Jesus, that strengthens my/our relationship with the Lord.
Reading the poems each week has allowed me to relate to past as well as present trials and situations in my life. With the lectures and breakout room discussions, I am able to understand feelings that I did not understand previously. I am able to apply the poems and lectures to my day-to-day life, to allow God to pull me out from the darkness that I have been in. Through the Mentor’s Table, I have learned that I am not alone. That God in His infinite wisdom sees all and knows all.
The Mentor’s Table has helped me during my darkest days with coping from the grief of losing my husband. I have realized that through my weakness and heartache that my comfort and strength to go on, comes from the Lord. This new sisterhood that was formed from the Mentor’s Table has helped me grow tremendously. By opening my heart to Jesus and allowing Him to direct my paths; that I am not alone; that I am not in control. He is! It is not my will, but God’s will. Through this Table, I was able to release a lot of old feelings that I did not even realize I still carried with me.
The boot camp sessions and breakout rooms were the biggest highlights. They really dug deep into the poems and word of God. Here the poems were broken down in a way that I could understand and identify things that have kept me in bondage. I learned how to release those things to become free indeed, allowing me to move closer to the purpose that the Lord has for me. In the breakout rooms each week I was lifted up by my group and felt comfortable. I have become more confident in everything I do. I found myself looking forward to Mondays!
I would like to thank Reverend Hadland from the bottom of my heart. For all the hard work she has put into this Table. I appreciate the teachings and guidance through the Holy Spirit that was poured into her, and poured out to myself, as well as the rest of us sisters in Christ. I would like to thank my breakout room group as well, for always lifting me up and for sharing your own personal trials with me. I cherish our new found friendships. God bless you all!
The Scripture at the end of the Poem “Life is a Journey” from Reverend Hadland’s book Transformational Grace has new meaning for me, that is being worked out in my life. “Brothers I do not consider myself, yet to have taken hold of it but one thing I do: Forgetting what is behind and straining to what is a head, I press on toward the goal to win the prize for what God has called me homeward in Christ Jesus.” Philippians 3: 13-14.
As my journey continues so does my spiritual growth, my expectations, aspiration, and anticipation. This maturity undoubtedly is attributed to my participation in the Mentor’s Table’s workshops, where its leader Reverend Hadland consistently points a group of women, of which I am one, to their freedom in Jesus Christ, and to be overcomers. Coming from various backgrounds and lifestyles we have all attested to having been shackled in bondage because of being misunderstood, abused, misused and you name it, there it was. Yes, a group who is determined and intentional for passion to meet purpose as are so often stressed in our workshops.
Reflecting upon my experience with the Mentor’s Table, I appreciate with gratitude the utmost respect and dedication, sacrifice and commitment of Reverend Sandra Hadland our Server, who allows the Holy Spirit to lead. Truly it could only have been the work of the Holy Spirit that made everyone feel safe that such transparency and transformation were revealed at every session!!
Recently, a family crisis was thrust upon me, that I did not see it coming!! It was very disappointing and painful leaving me feeling humiliated and devastated or so I thought. Prior to being on the Mentor’s Table I would have handled this on my own, and it would have gone terribly wrong with lasting consequences. However, after two years of the Mentor’s Table and being taught the Truth rather than reacting, I leaned into the Poem “Transformational Grace” and its Scripture taken from Proverbs 3:5-6 “Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your understanding; in all your ways acknowledge Him, and He will make your paths straight.” As a result, I trusted God and not myself!!
Taking ownership of other people’s actions was huge for me, unforgiveness was a ‘Biggy’ and self-condemnation were extremely challenging for me. However, the revelation learned from the Mentor’s Table that God’s love for me, even me is unconditional, and that nothing can separate me from His love. This for me was pure deliverance!! And so, I thank God for the Mentor’s Table and His Transformational Grace!
A quote from the poem “Transformational Grace” which I have taken to heart is “I have come to realize, it is a place of resolve, though I cannot adequately explain (and I cannot) something happens from within- continuously revealing growth”
To God be the Glory, Hallelujah! Hallelujah! Amen and Amen.
There are times when thoughts imposed on me by memories of past hurts would make me wonder how God’s purposes could be glorified by these bitter experiences. Rev. Hadland’s uplifting poems, from her book, “Transformational Grace” spoke volumes to my spirit by giving me real life experiences of how to confront these deep hidden thoughts and hurts. They declare to me the weight and soundness of God’s love and revealed His always present grace. These poems exposes the real enemy of faith to me by helping me gain a more revealed and intimate understanding of God’s transforming plans for me.
Spiritual Growth, Changing of the Mind, Fellowship, Transparency, Breathing life into me, Giving, Sharing, Knowledge. Reverend Hadland has taught me to trust the Lord, in order to receive fortitude.
The first poem is titled “Look to The Source.” My written notes had six bullet points that started with “Holy Spirit help me with” all the bullet points had to do with Transformation, i.e., body weight, self-worth, stop judging my brother’s pace, finishing home projects, renewal of my heart, soul, and mind. Just words on paper, the essential bullet not listed is, to know Christ. WOW, nothing listed about knowing Christ. January 3, 2021, I was in a place of internal battle, not of peace. Any time we pray, we are praying for change. We pray to God to take hold of a sin that binds our soul; we WANT OUT; we WANT PEACE; CHANGE!
1997 was the beginning of my Transformation to know Christ, and I am still being transformed and will continue to be transformed. There are times we get lost in our transformational journey. The Mentor’s Table under God’s Grace, Rev. Hadland’s lectures gave me an understanding of the poems. Her teaching put me back on course to grow in Christ so the Holy Spirit can continue to transform my life. Rev Hadland, by the Holy Spirit, is leading and guiding us into the righteousness of God’s word. She is God’s Grace, a gift to us. Romans 12: 2. “be transformed by the renewing of your mind.” By having a relationship with God, our lives are being transformed. He does not condemn or accuse. He teaches us how to get out of what we no longer want to be, under sin.
Each session, each lecture, each poem allowed us to disclose our imperfect life without being judged by our group. It takes courage to share your flaws, in addition, to receive Rev. Hadland’s feedback on our answers to the questions which we clearly did not understand. Rev. Hadland, through the Holy Spirit, gives us clarity to become better versions of ourselves.
I have applied these sessions to my life by dealing with my imperfections, such as the embarrassment I caused others by my actions and learning to forgive myself. Also, by confronting people who have wronged me, I have started that journey of forgiveness in order to be free.
The Mentor’s Table has helped me to continue to seek Christ, keep my eyes on the prize. I am a work in progress. The question is, ‘How can I better myself if I can’t see where I need to improve?’ The answer is, ‘I can’t do this alone. I need our Lord’s continuous help. The Bible is our life instructional booklet, stay in scripture and stay in prayer.’
Yes, my spiritual growth is gradual; closing my eyes afraid to see the truth is not for me.
One of the highlights of my weekly journey was the teaching of the poem ‘Emancipation’ which says it all for me. It is the fact of the process of being set free.
I can safely say one of the set of footprints of the Holy Spirit led to my enlightenment of not judging my brothers because everyone is at a different spiritual level.
Thank you, Rev. Hadland, for creating a safe space for women and teaching us to further our relationship with God.
My favorite poem is ‘Emancipation’. No longer in bondage, I am being set free.
The Mentor’s Table means a gift from above. It’s a time given to me to reveal God’s will and teachings that I need, and hearing from other women. By applying God’s words of wisdom in these beautifully written poems, the Spirit of the Lord is present and transforming. During our sessions, I discovered the Mentor’s Table to be a time for healing and an opportunity to share my personal experiences and expressions about the poems. The Mentor’s Table gave a unique opportunity to fellowship with women from all across the world who also desire to seek places in their lives for discovery of how to grow and strengthen their walk with the Lord.
I have identified with the poems from transformation grace scriptures in a revolutionary way by being honest with myself as God’s Word unfolds my own self-discovery through the poems. The poems helped me identify and relate to areas of my life where I need to heal and grow. For example, one poem entitled “Stand Firm in the Storm” was shared at the table when I needed it most. The beauty of the Mentor’s Table is how God’s timing is flawless. I didn’t realize how much I needed that poem until later. The words in the poem and guidance from Reverend Hadland, showed how important it is for me to hold on, walk in obedience, and when I have done all that I can do…“Stand”! How powerful that phrase meant to me. During a time of uncertainty, I needed to hear from God on how I should handle a situation in my life. Instead of making a decision, God wanted me to trust Him and stand firm. Thanks be to God, I was able to go through the storm, and come out with peace.
These poems offer a beacon of light and strength in discovering where my challenges are in my spiritual walk. There are times reading the poems I am reminded how truly I am well equipped to overcome anything that I am faced with in tribulations and trials. I need to trust God in the healing process that is often present at the Mentor’s Table. I have learned the importance of trusting God in ALL things. I am open to the healing power that the Mentor’s Table provides in/outside of our weekly sessions with others.
Like the title of the book, ‘Transformational Grace’, says it all. These sessions at the Mentor’s Table are a perfect blend of transforming with God’s grace from once a broken vessel to whole vessel filled with God’s perfect love and purpose for life. Each week, the session gives a theme. They allow me to receive what the Lord has given through the poems and the mentorship of Reverend Hadland. Through these sessions I am able to focus not only on the poems that are well and beautifully written but also, appreciate how similarities that each of the women at the table shares and experience in each of our lives strengthen one another. The sessions allow healing for me and the women at so many levels. Through hearing the words which are found in the poem, I apply whatever God shows me to do in my life. I love each session and look forward to the fellowship and God’s presence. I am able to release whatever hindrances, or strongholds are holding me back and surrender to God’s healing power. In these sessions, God brings true deliverance, and while the sessions are only two hours, following the sessions, I still experience the workings of God’s healing after our sessions.
I have applied these sessions to my everyday living. Listening during Mentor’s Table and sharing my experiences at the Mentors Table, I am able to reflect the words of wisdom and spiritual awakening through the poems. I find the lessons shared are similar in nature like the parable in the Bible. Through the stories and the depictions captured in the poems, I learn valuable lessons of how to apply things into my personal life. Each poem is impactful in the sessions that occur weekly, and also Boot Camp sessions, which are custom-made sessions that emphasize topics that are also led by Reverend Hadland.
The Mentor’s Table poems have helped me grow both physically and spiritually. When I started attending the sessions, most of my experiences were through observation and interacting at the table. Over time, those sessions transformed me to be able to identify whose I am in Christ. The poems helped me to put down my “Mask” so that I can be real with myself and walk with the Lord. Some of the highlights in pure discussion at the mentors table were: consisted of breakthroughs in strongholds that I was holding on throughout my life for 55 years; living being able to speak and express words of encouragement and confirmation of the importance of my relationship with the Lord; renewed strength has allowed me to gain more insight about my own personal growth. Reverend Hadland played a pivotal role as the server at the Mentors Table. She not only offered the main course with passion but led us with intention. Through her leadership she has lifted up a standard to be on time and be intentional. She also played an intricate part of my growth at and away from the table. She often contacted me and was available for personal coaching and reaffirmed what was taught during the sessions.
My footprints of the Holy Spirit let me grow in two areas in my life where healing was very much needed. Oftentimes, I am reminded through God’s word the importance of my obedience and willingness to obey God’s word. My family benefited through my sessions at The Mentor’s Table. I can apply them to my own life but also share what I learned from each session with my family. Each session occurred via zoom which allowed me to be at home listening, growing and sharing while at the same time offering the same sense of purpose.
I am very grateful for being part of The Mentor’s Table. It has been a life changer. I could not have gained the level of healing and support of those other strong women within a short period of time. The sessions will always be a reminder of where I came from and where I ended up. Looking back years from now, I will be forever grateful with The Mentor’s Table, a time of reflection. Timing is everything and applying the word along with the lessons taught at each session has helped me grow. This was a unique opportunity for me to come together with other women who are also seeking a greater understanding of God and His love for us. Thanks be to God for this opportunity, I have been blessed at these sessions.
As I am writing, I realized this could only have come at this time meaning tonight. To GOD BE THE GLORY!!
Since I was released from Mount Sanai Hospital after being diagnosed with Multiple Myeloma (Cancer) I would often wonder, what is my next step, meaning, am I going to die or live ? I was devastated when I thought about dying (for me the diagnosis was instant death at the time).
I often had this feeling that I was empty, and I needed to be filled. I was always questioning my purpose. The thing that kept coming up was, I needed to fix my relationship, but then I kept remembering that I had promised God that if He had healed me, I would be His. And that I could not serve two masters. Physically, mentally, and spiritually. Looking back, I genuinely believed it was the Holy Spirit at work.
I really became engulfed in wanting more for myself and wanted to live right.
(Some may say that I only felt this way because of my recent diagnosis, but I would say, if not then, when?) There is always good in trying to live a better life, while we have life and can put in the work. I believe the goal in life is to surrender to Christ. Totally, no compromising. Even though my life was not an example of this, I still believed this is what God wanted me to do.
I began to experience moments when something would have me dancing and praising God (surprising myself) and this feeling of gratitude would have me just going beyond, examples: being kinder; not judging; considering people’s feelings; wanting to help mentally or physically; not being selfish; wanting to worship God wholeheartedly; believing that my healing was coming; not knowing at that time that it was God’s hand on me; and that I was healed. He was calling me. There were times when I was sooo depressed, I was beginning to hold myself accountable for my actions.
Fast forward: I was experiencing troubled times at home; at that time, I was living with my significant other. He had decided that we should go our separate ways, which I took extremely hard at that time, right then, I knew it was God, even though a part of me wanted companionship, not wanting to be alone. God was getting ready to turn my life around, but I didn’t trust or have faith enough at that time to believe that I would end up better, happier and healthier, but a part of me knew I had to trust God enough to park my things and take that leap of faith and leave (while a part of me wanted my SO to say stay and that we could work things out) knowing that God had plans for me. Plans to heal me and help me, not to harm me. I had to move. I moved.
Well, I can testify that God showed up, in time and handled my business . He gave me a sound and a peace of mind. Sister, I thought that I would have lost my mind but guess what! He continues to be my Comforter to this day. Why? Because I have this friend, who I call on especially for prayers and she would always tell me about this group she joined and how she wished that I could join it as well because being a part of that group for her was kind of life changing…Can I testify that shortly after that I was welcomed to this group of beautiful, non-judgmental, non-perfect, considerate and kind but yet stern group of women willing to stand non scripted before the throne and allow God to lead and be totally in control of their lives while open to leaning more on God and allowing the Mentor’s Table to mentor.
Listen, I am beginning to understand the God that I serve and what He wants from me and can give me since I started at The Mentor’s Table. I have learnt how to show and give mercy and realize that I need mercy as well. I am learning how to grow my faith and stand on His word. How to hold myself accountable and how my life should align with God’s word. The Mentor’s Table helps me to put the pieces together. What I was going through and what I am going through, leading up to this moment has been designed from day one by God. I will forever trust His plan. Now I am understanding God’s assignment for me. There is a different ‘dance’, different ‘walk’ and different ‘talk’ that I do after I became a part of this group.
It is a daily walk for me but with God by my side and having the Mentor’s Table as one of my biggest villages, I trust that, no I am certain that if I put God first, He will enlarge my territory. By no means at all, do I believe issues and problems will not come, but I do believe that with God’s help, I shall be able to weather any storm, if only I can pass these tests, because I know that, that’s exactly what they are. Placing them at the cross and leaving them there (even though sometimes it’s a battle or I find myself trying to fix it) is His request.
I want all that the Father has promised me for my children, my family, and all who I come into contact with.
I cannot possibly imagine where I would be if it had not been for God’s Grace and The Mentor’s Table.
- He is still working on me Working on me, God is truly working on me…
I have had the opportunity to attend the Mentor’s Table Celebration not knowing what to expect but coming in with an open heart.
Listen, can I say that God moved in that place and through me? The fellowship, the praises, the environment all aligned with the Table’s teaching! I saw God move and the shy me came out my shell, because I had nothing to lose and everything to gain by surrendering all to God…
The second sitting at The Mentor’s Table proved to be a fresh and deeply fulfilling experience. This year the breakout room experience was constantly changing. I was blessed to welcome Sister Barbara back as well as share in other rooms through this season. It was like Boot Camp for each session. Both Saturday Boot Camps hit me differently this time around- gaining perspective, still impactful and very effective. God remains faithful!
I got to dig deeper to uncover different layers and walk closer to the Lord. The Holy Spirit kept reinforcing lessons and challenging me to be more disciplined as I walked by faith in 2022. I preached more, I listened more, forgave more and I grew more. The foundation was already laid and I am being built up in areas that need to be matured. I have seen some aspects of my vision board come alive and I am eagerly looking forward to obediently following where God leads.
This is my third term of Mentor’s Table, and I am blessed to be here among you, and to share my testimony with you today. I started to recall my faith journey from last year and there are two key learnings or realizations I want to share and testify about. Both testimonials manifested through two poems I read as part of our Mentor’s Table workshop.
First testimonial is the realization of God’s overflowing Grace and Mercy through the choices I made. This hit home for me through the poem “Make A Choice”. The poem made me realize that I make choices every day. From low impact decisions to larger impact ones with the possibility of impacting my life, my faith journey and creating a ripple effect on my immediate family members. As a believer I like to say that I always prayerfully consider decisions before I make them, but I will admit there are some decisions I have made based on my own earthly desires. Today, I am here to testify that in those earthly desired decision, God does not punish me, but His Grace and Mercy carry me through the negative consequences from those decisions. He always meets me where I am and leads me back to Him. I am surrounded by Amazing Grace and Love that will never let go of me – this is also true for you, as His believers. To God be the glory.
My second testimonial is through the reading of the poem “Who Am I?”, it is an extension of the first testimony with follow up action. I was made in the image and likeness of God. I am made to reflect the nature of God – through my thoughts, speech, and actions. I am so blessed and treasured beyond measure, not because I have the most faith, or the best follower but by His never-ending love and grace! God was willing to sacrifice His only Son to die on the cross for my sin. I am speechless and in awe of His amazing love. I want to spend the rest of my life, holding my head high as a believer and follower of Jesus Christ.
This desire had made me think of my early life when I was first introduced to the church and Christianity. At the time, church was a fun place where everyone was nice, I got to sing and make new friends. I was baptized when I was 13 and I have been taking communion once a month since then. I thought I knew of God, and I have studied the Bible. Even then, I know I am not the perfect or best Christian, but I was okay with mediocre. Ten years ago, in 2013, I truly accepted Jesus Christ as my Savior and Master during the altar call of the revival conference.
My life has changed since then, I am still not the best Christian, but I am no longer okay with being the mediocre. I want to know Him more, grow closer to Him, led by Him in my thoughts, actions, and day to day living! Since I was saved, I have been struggling with the way I was baptized, this struggle always re-surfaces every time I hear preaching or teaching about the meaning of baptism. I want to be baptized because I am called and confirmed by the Holy Spirit and because I ‘believe’ in Him, and I am saved by His love. Because of this I will be baptized again this weekend with renewed faith and calling.
This year’s theme “Going into the Deep”, and Rev. Hadland’s question for us is “How deep are you willing to jump to know He is there to catch you?”
For me, in this faith journey, I am learning day-by-day to have more faith, lean on His mighty hand and let go of my comfort zone or lines. I am truly blessed to have all of you as part of my fellow travelers in this journey.
May God bless you all.
‘Transformational Grace’ is truly transforming, as you read it and examine yourself it gives you a deeper insight of where you are in God and what you need to do for God to use you.
The Poems will open your eyes to see clearly what God requires of you in every situation. The poem Emancipation has truly blessed me. It has given me a release in my spirit that cannot be explained in the natural.
I am always in a hurry but while at the Mentor’s table, the Lord showed me in the spirit the word Patience and that not everything has to be rushed for My sake, but that patience will result in a greater reward. Psalm 150: 6 says, ‘Let everything that hath breath praise the Lord. Praise ye the Lord’.
I give praise to God for you Rev. Hadland and the work you are doing on His behalf.
The Mentor’s Table for me has been an enlightening, inspiring, and strengthening experience. It has taught me to take my relationship with Christ more seriously; allowing me to see my shortcomings and equipping me with the necessary tools which I need to bring about a change in my life.
I now know that in order for this change to take place, I have to give more of myself in terms of the time I spend with the Lord in prayer, fasting and meditation. I also must be intentional about the amount of effort I put into building this relationship. In other words, I can no longer just talk the talk but I now have to walk the walk. It is no longer just okay for me just to say that I’m a Christian or that I believe in Jesus and His resurrection, but that I have to be so invested in our relationship, that through me, others will come to glorify Him. This investment I know requires determination, sacrifice, discipline, and just plain honesty with myself and with God. However, the end result will bring about a transformational change in my walk with the Creator.
The poems and lectures have really impacted my life, in that I have grown since starting this journey. I’m more aware of the choices I make and the way I think. Two of the poems that really hit home with me were “Born to Be Free But Still Lived in a Cage and Sacrifice Is Eminent to Reaping The Harvest’. In Born to Be Free But Still Lived In A Cage, I realized that even though I thought I was free, I was really living in bondage that was created by me and for me. The cares and worries of this world had me enslaved, non-important things such as my work assignment or work scheduled had me enslaved, even something as important as caring about those I loved had me enslaved. By accepting the fact that I allowed myself to be caged, has caused me to begin my journey of transformation through His Grace.
The poem ‘Sacrifice Is Eminent to Reaping the Harvest’, has brought to light the fact that everything I do for God has to be intentional and takes some amount of sacrifice on my part. It reminds me of the story of Cain and Abel, how God favored Abel’s sacrifice over his brother’s, and that’s what I want for my life, that whatever I do for Him is acceptable and favorable in His eyes. The breakout room and answering the questions together have brought about a sense of comradary for me. Listening to others share their experiences and stories has inspired me and has caused me to focus less on myself and to be less critical.
Overall, I have grown in strength since starting the Mentor’s Table, I know that I still have a lot more growing to do, but now I’m more determined, because these past few months have touched my heart and my life. The fellowship we shared is truly amazing and I thank God the day when Rev. Hadland invited me to join, because I have truly been Blessed!!!
The Mentor’s Table is truly a safe place where you can be transparent by removing the mask. As we are open and honest with each other the Holy Spirit always takes control.
The scriptures and lectures shared each week are always enlightening and life changing. As I reflect, I continue to receive clarity and knowledge on how to apply them to my daily life.
I have found that I am able to identify with each of the poems. Thank you, Rev. Hadland for your obedience to the Holy Spirit in sharing your life’s experiences through your book of poems “Transformational Grace.”
My life has truly been transformed through the weekly sessions coupled with the Boot Camps and Rose Bush.
Thank you, Holy Spirit for your footprints.